[thurisaz]

pretty spot on. heres my account, just for the sake of it.

So, two vans.
-The Bucket of Fuck: 5 seater 1988 Mercedes 207D with 5 people and all the gear
-The Rental: 15 seater 2003 Ford Transit Minibus with the other 11 people and some bags etc.

Filthpact: Ben, Jeeves, Mitch, Al-B and myself (Teabags)
Atomgevitter: Roddy, Stefan, James, Tommy
Unkind: Tommi, Janne, Saku, Marko and Allu
Others: Cat(form Moshulu) with us up until Kirkcaldy
Chris(Boxed-In and Give Up All Hope) with us form Middlesbrough to London
Sned(Boxed-In and Flat Earth Records) and Dingo(Boxed-In) with us from Middlesbrough to Boston
Hexa(Moshtradamosh, Care Diem, Unkind's Merch dude) with us form London till the end.
Bridget and her hitchhiking friend with us form Stranraer to Edinburgh

10 gigs. Around Scotland, England, Ireland, Northern Ireland.

Heres what happened, briefly.

Kirkcaldy - gig not that great.very drunk.next morning, as leaving, our van(the Bucket of Fuck) got crashed into by some old twat. his car was fucked, ours not too bad. was picking up his grand-daughter. in lane to right of us. she was to left of us. never checked his mirror. smack. got away with it though. drove on.
Middlesbrough - arrived in city.saw the most attractive whore in britain working down the docks.gig alright.got drunk.usual shite. number sexy girl was girl in bandana and Nora hoodie.
Boston - gig was nuts.people doing human pyramids.roddy of atomgevitter dressed up as pope to commemorate his death.attacked people with large inflatable banana.met foreign lauryn who likes it up the wrong 'un.very sexy. sexy girl number 2 actually. also met Charlene, the drunken attemptee at pool playing. sexy girl number 3. some guy puked all over the room we were sleeping in.while Bukcet of Fuck going back to other house with 7 people and Stefan driving, got pulled over by police, even though the guy driving was not on insurance and van was overloaded with more people than allowed, got away with it. Marvellous Marv the promoter drunkingly sweet talked their way out of it. I woke up in pub and realised id pissed myself during the night.went to the pornshop to see foreign lauryn again,then left for london.
Brixton,London - got lost coming into London, not suprisingly, but not too badly.gig was good.nice food.stayed in nicest squat ive ever seen in my life.got parking fine of £40 for parking the Mini-Bus up on the kerb. thought we were being generous by freeing up some space on the narrow street. cunts. too many sexy girls with dreads to pick out any in particular.
Southampton - gig alright.not that great.got Army of Flying Robots/Jinn split 10". Yas! got drunk and had handlebar mustache drawn on my face.went to club afterwards. shouted abuse in Finnish. used awful chat up line on two girls "Me and my friend have a bet....". went back, played Mega-Drive and informed the people whose house I was staying in that I pissed myself two nights before.
Bristol - on our way to gig, gear box in van got shot to shit. stuck on motorway, unable to move. police arrived. was a total cunt. "get it shifted!" we cant get it shifted you penis, theres no gears. anyway, fimnally got it moving and off the road then fixed it easy enough. went to Stonhenge, gave abuse to people that had payed £5 to get in, when getting in involves getinng a meer 5 feet closer to the stones and a little thing that tells you about the history. fucking piss! then went to another willage to other stone circles. Got to gig and had a curry. Gig was going good, till Mitch(our vocalist) smacked Ben(guitars) in the head with the microphone and he was pissing blood everywhere.so, cut set short then just got drunk, went to hosue we were staying at, not enough space, slept in very tight spaces between two fins.
Leeds - gig was ace. Valehella Pacifists are fucking amazing.more human pyramids and other crazy dances.sold records etc.got drunk. went back, had to get up at 8 in morning, so fell asleep sharpish. sexy girl number 4 was the girl who bought lots of records appeared to have 4 arms due to her boyfriend never ceasing his kung fu grip around her waist.
The crossing to Ireland Debauchery - so, it should have been sorted. The Bucket of Fuck van would go direct to Dublin from Hollyhead on the ferry, with all the gear and 5 people. The mini-bus had to drive to Stranraer in Scotland to cross over to Belfast with the other 11 people. They would then get picked up in Belfast by a friend and be taken to the gig in Dublin, since we couldnt take the rented mini-bus into Ireland due to insurance. easy enough, right? wrong. We arrived in plenty of time (12PM) in Hollyhead, waiting for our ferry at 2:30. Discovered we were now delayed cos of weather and were on a ferry at 3:30 which was a high speed one and would get to Dublin at 5:05PM. fair enough. phoned other guys, and they were all fine on ferry, except Hexa(merch guy for Unkind) who was held back to be interviewed by Police under the Anti-Terrorism act, all because they discovered he had a Noam Chomsky book!!! pile of shite. anyway, he caught a later ferry, and would get to Belfast at 5, so they reckoned they'd get to Dublin about 8PM. Thats fair enough. Then, more trouble our end, our ferry was changed again to a sailing at 4:30 which would get in at 7:30. SUppose thats alright, but not ideal. 5 o' clock and we're still not on the ferry. 5:30, van is on ferry, we're not moving. Ferry finally sets sail about 6.so we'd maybe get there by about 9. not good. Further delayed bcause of a car ferrry leaving Dublin port, so had to wait outside the port. Finally got into Dublin port at 10. got to venue at 10:20. FUCKED! had to cut all our sets short and kick two local bands off the bill as I believe. Fucking arse!
Dublin - so asides from the ferry bull shit, the gig was alright. Got drunk, saw lots of old mates from Easpa Measa and others. Went back to house, huge party in a small room to cheesy disco music. Some others went to another house which was apparently quieter, but well, it wasn't, it was worse apparently. Anyway, i slept in a very very uncomfortable position and got a sore back. Went to town next day in search of Randy Savage t-shirts(as we were informed about by Nina, sexy girl number 5). couldn't find them Sad Jeeves, our drummer wasn't driving, and got very drunk in the morning and was adamant to stay in Dublin rather than go play our gig in Belfast. but we got him out eventually. Headed to...
Belfast - got good food, and then gig was crazy. Punks in Belfats were nuts. Atomgevitter had their clothes riped off, and Roddy even dipped his cock in his pint of guinness on several occasions and drank it. Party back at Glynn Dagda's hosue was going good. Plenty beer, buckfast, table football, Today is the Day, Iron Monkey, sorted! But then the coppers turned up cos of the noise. oh the shame. woke up in boxers, with cock in full view of world, and half a half bottle of buckfast in my hand.
Edinburgh - this time both vans went from Belfast to Stranraer.no problems with delays. but our van battery died at Security in Belfast. luckily had spare one.got on ferry, crossed, security at other side made us fill in cards about Anti-Terror act, asked us questions, got the sniffer dog to check us out. poor dog. we aint showered in 10 days. the other van picked up some hitchhikers from Aberdeen. he he. both gils. lucky guys. anyway, got to Edinburgh, GOOD food from House of Crust, then on to gig, which again, was good. Played lots of pool, my mate adam was dressed as a girl. Went back, no real partying hard, but getting very drunk with a 24 crate I'd bought earlier. Ben slept in van, and was woken up by police about a suspicious happening in the area. They let him off.

Next day, we dropped off Unkind at airport, had lunch in Glasgow, then me, Ben, Roddy and Stefan went to a gig in Glasgow. Atomgevitter meant to play as well as Oi Polloi, but both had to cancel. Anyway, went to gig, got REALLY drunk, acted like idiots. Then, invited some poor lonely american guy back to have a party. But, well, the van broke down halfway there, hahaha. Spent ages trying to fix it, extremely drunk. No use. got it into a gear and pushed it out of the road to a parking spot. Just after we did, cops showed up. They were cool, left us alone without any questions. Wouldn't leave tillw e sang them a song. "Oh you're the polis, you're on the night shift, yev ginger hair and oor van is ucked!" Just as they were about to leave, 3 more cop cars turned up. But, nothing happened. We walked back to Stefan's and were peeing in the street, getting dicks out, drinking whisky, putting chairs on parked cars then getting in trouble form the neighbours because we touched their skateboard. Anyway, next morning, went and sat in van for 3 hours waiting for a repair truck, One turned up half an hour after we got there, but left straight away. Other showed up 3 hours later and loaded the van on the back, drove us back to Aberdeen. He had a DVD player in the back, so that was cool.

PS If any of sexy girl number 1-5 reads this, leave a comment, and tell me I'm a pervvy cunt rag.