[Chunder]

Originally Posted by ubermensch

Who has read the amazing budget books section in FOPP? I have.

This entitles me to talk extensively about Chuck Palahniuk, Hunter S Thompson and other modern writers, and to quote them in everyday rhetoric regarding my futile feuds on Myspace. The past? Who cares, you're all oblivious, future-obsessed asswits.

Aren't I so avant garde and witty? I feel almost obliged to talk about cubism, futurism, scientology... In fact, FOPP is the cultural epicentre of all desperate intelligentsia.

Gosh guys, I feel so intelligent.

Yet, at the same time, I feel almost obliged to go read other phenomenal writers such as Coupland and Banks, because my wallet has allowed me to feel almost intelligent today. Should I start with classics? No, let me elaborate on the already stagnant present. Should I allow the past to describe the future? No, let me eleborate on the present's ability to describe nothing. Vacuous uniformity.

Thank god for student loans and their compatibility with FOPP's bargain books range. Thank God, thank god, Thank Godd, thank Gadd?

Bile in a handkerchief, possibly relieved as a result of stimulation from laughter. You're pathetic.

My god, the man has a vocabulary AND tourettes! Someone give him a medal