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step one: hide mouseball/thin layer of tape over mouseball entry/electric tape over laser mouse. this is the warmup.
step two: use strips of tape to hold "chair-go-down" lever so the chair automatically descends when sat upon. remove single wheel from chair and hide to drastically enhance chances of person falling over.
step three: turn down contrast and brightness fully on monitor. turn off monitor. unplug monitor. unplug mouse. unplug keyboard. remove ctrl+alt+delete keys and hide (I like to tape them to the underside of the chair). re-arrange keys (as mentioned by Thee Alex above)
step four: gently unplug handset from phone so when it's answered the person is saying "hello" into a detached handset. get back to your desk and prepare to phone that person immediately on their return.
step five: ???
step six: profit.
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