Quote:
Originally Posted by johnny?
A Man's Guide To Sex and The City
I'm not sure how many are trapped into going to see this. Being familiar with the series, here's a guide about when to pay attention.
Carrie: Seems to get a boyfriend all the time despite looking like a horse with a Robert Plant wig on and harping on about sex in a paper as if it's a job. Basically you can switch off when she's on because there'll be a) No nudity and b) An annoying amount of 'men are fucking shite' chat. Just dive into your popcorn and wait.
Rating: 15 pints
Charlotte: Hot as fuck in the main, married to a fattish, bald dude (there's hope for us all). Wants a baby. Looks like the kind of woman you'd find in amateur MILF porn. You'll spend most of the film deciding whether you would or not as at some angles she looks a bit like a run over deer. Quite whiny but otherwise probably your highlight.
Rating: Less than 5 pints, hop on
Samantha: She'll flash her tits and you'll probably see her muff so if you're really that bored you'll probably want to follow every scene just in case. She's fucking minging but by an hour and a half of inane drivel, a flash of old tits will about see you through regardless.
Ratiing: 20 pints surely
Miranda: A moany, ginger trollop. You'll want to get some snooze time on when she's on the scene because she only ever talks about her ugly ginger kid and her speccy boyfriend. She's ugly as sin and if she mentions sex, you'll be sure to retch. That episode about her giving a rimjob brought me to heaving.
Rating: 50 pints of whiskey
God bless and good luck.
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hahaa, so glad my girlfriend is basically a man with tits.