Unkind/Filthpact/Atomgevitter tour 2005

[Roddy]

hey cunts, heres a brief low down on our destruction of the uk april 2005!

Friday April 1st Path tavern Kircaldy
a rough first night for everyone I think, low turn out too doesnt help to boost morale but hey you gotta play every show likes its your last! Stay at jacko's and stay up far to late with him watching Real Mckenzies dvd's.

Saturday April 2nd some pub Middlesborough
yeah great venue and great crowd one of my fave gigs of the tour, realy got into it and I cant describe my joy at finding an enormous inflateable bannana!

Sunday April 3rd Indian Queen Boston
well I though a lot more would go down here considering the reputation but the gig wasn't that bad. I dressed as the Pope and assaulted the crowd with the giant bannana. We sleep in the pub. i get so stoned i think I'm on a spaceship and Dave 'thurisaz' pisses himself in his sleeping bag. Meanwhile stephan drives the van unisured back the promoters with those who want a quiet night, they get stopped by the cops but a very drunk Marv gadgie manages to talk them out of any trouble!

Monday April 4th grovsenor london
we get a ferry across the thames to get the venue its quite fun! gig is pretty good loads of crusties and hardcore folk and we meet some nice people. stay at a squated mansion and have to pay £16 to park outside for 4 hours! Janne from unkind gets the hitler moustach treatment while he sleeps, washes it of imidiately after he wakes up and tries to pretend like nothing is wrong!

Tuesday April 5th King Alfred Southampton
weird place, very small and i can imagine it could kick off bigstyle on a busy night but tonight its prey quiet. we play fine but one crusty who stands with his arms folded staring at me the whole time we play realy pisses me off. we all stay in a very small house I slep where the cats litter tray was and get pissed on by said feline for my troubles.

wednesday april 6th the junction Bristol
great gig, everyone playes a blinder ben filthpact gets his head cut open by dave swinging his mike!! Some pissed old guy keeps asking for Status Quo, Queen and Linol Rtchie!! Loads of dancing and nice people. I have a terrible night with the flu sweating and shaking and i think Im never gonna get better, it sucks. the guy we stay with graham makes us an awsome brekkie and he's heard of and likes gama bomb - a man of impecible taste!

thursday april 7th The Fenton leeds

well I thought bristol was good but leeds kicked its ass! people were going ape for us and we sold loads of 7"s and cd's fucking rocking! after we played i was tottaly wiped and had to sit at the back of the hall. during unkinds set I would occasionaly stand up and see people leaping and faling and generaly going nuts! We stay at Sned from flat earth's gaff its nice and quiet and makes a nice change!

friday april 8th voodoo lounge Dublin

after a very delayed ferry (5 hours or so!) we arrive and pretty much hit the stage running! My voice is gone but we stil get a good crowd reaction, just wish i coulda played better Filthpact are especialy good tonight gues its all the resting they got! (their fery wasn't delayed!) After the gig we go to a party house I crawl under a table close my eyes and hope for the best.

saturday 9th April front page belfast

fucking hell! this night was um, crazy?!? I have my clothes torn from me while I'm singing the crowd is going nuts for us its realy a great gig. he crowd are trying their best to freak us out but i think i successfully weird them out by dipping my cock in my guiness then drinking it! Unkind's merch guy dressed up as a leprechan and its scarily normal looking ha ha!

sunday 10th April Mercat edinburgh

its pretty quiet when we go on people seem into it, maybe edinburgh has seen us too many ties? maybe i'm burned out from the tour? A girl comes up and thanks us for playing'backpackcore' cause its her favourite! not only do we have a fan but they also have a fave song! 'ego swells'! that made the whole tour for me right there and then. A bunch of pissed up footbal hooligans try to start shit while filthpact play but nothing kicks off. go back to crust house for a few beers then its off to bed!

and thats that realy! we take unkind to the air port the next day then we go see Mill a h-Uile Rud at the 13th note cafe, the van breaks down on the way back from that and so the end of the tour is marked!!! Roll on september, Europe doesn't know whats coming!

[thurisaz]

pretty spot on. heres my account, just for the sake of it.

So, two vans.
-The Bucket of Fuck: 5 seater 1988 Mercedes 207D with 5 people and all the gear
-The Rental: 15 seater 2003 Ford Transit Minibus with the other 11 people and some bags etc.

Filthpact: Ben, Jeeves, Mitch, Al-B and myself (Teabags)
Atomgevitter: Roddy, Stefan, James, Tommy
Unkind: Tommi, Janne, Saku, Marko and Allu
Others: Cat(form Moshulu) with us up until Kirkcaldy
Chris(Boxed-In and Give Up All Hope) with us form Middlesbrough to London
Sned(Boxed-In and Flat Earth Records) and Dingo(Boxed-In) with us from Middlesbrough to Boston
Hexa(Moshtradamosh, Care Diem, Unkind's Merch dude) with us form London till the end.
Bridget and her hitchhiking friend with us form Stranraer to Edinburgh

10 gigs. Around Scotland, England, Ireland, Northern Ireland.

Heres what happened, briefly.

Kirkcaldy - gig not that great.very drunk.next morning, as leaving, our van(the Bucket of Fuck) got crashed into by some old twat. his car was fucked, ours not too bad. was picking up his grand-daughter. in lane to right of us. she was to left of us. never checked his mirror. smack. got away with it though. drove on.
Middlesbrough - arrived in city.saw the most attractive whore in britain working down the docks.gig alright.got drunk.usual shite. number sexy girl was girl in bandana and Nora hoodie.
Boston - gig was nuts.people doing human pyramids.roddy of atomgevitter dressed up as pope to commemorate his death.attacked people with large inflatable banana.met foreign lauryn who likes it up the wrong 'un.very sexy. sexy girl number 2 actually. also met Charlene, the drunken attemptee at pool playing. sexy girl number 3. some guy puked all over the room we were sleeping in.while Bukcet of Fuck going back to other house with 7 people and Stefan driving, got pulled over by police, even though the guy driving was not on insurance and van was overloaded with more people than allowed, got away with it. Marvellous Marv the promoter drunkingly sweet talked their way out of it. I woke up in pub and realised id pissed myself during the night.went to the pornshop to see foreign lauryn again,then left for london.
Brixton,London - got lost coming into London, not suprisingly, but not too badly.gig was good.nice food.stayed in nicest squat ive ever seen in my life.got parking fine of £40 for parking the Mini-Bus up on the kerb. thought we were being generous by freeing up some space on the narrow street. cunts. too many sexy girls with dreads to pick out any in particular.
Southampton - gig alright.not that great.got Army of Flying Robots/Jinn split 10". Yas! got drunk and had handlebar mustache drawn on my face.went to club afterwards. shouted abuse in Finnish. used awful chat up line on two girls "Me and my friend have a bet....". went back, played Mega-Drive and informed the people whose house I was staying in that I pissed myself two nights before.
Bristol - on our way to gig, gear box in van got shot to shit. stuck on motorway, unable to move. police arrived. was a total cunt. "get it shifted!" we cant get it shifted you penis, theres no gears. anyway, fimnally got it moving and off the road then fixed it easy enough. went to Stonhenge, gave abuse to people that had payed £5 to get in, when getting in involves getinng a meer 5 feet closer to the stones and a little thing that tells you about the history. fucking piss! then went to another willage to other stone circles. Got to gig and had a curry. Gig was going good, till Mitch(our vocalist) smacked Ben(guitars) in the head with the microphone and he was pissing blood everywhere.so, cut set short then just got drunk, went to hosue we were staying at, not enough space, slept in very tight spaces between two fins.
Leeds - gig was ace. Valehella Pacifists are fucking amazing.more human pyramids and other crazy dances.sold records etc.got drunk. went back, had to get up at 8 in morning, so fell asleep sharpish. sexy girl number 4 was the girl who bought lots of records appeared to have 4 arms due to her boyfriend never ceasing his kung fu grip around her waist.
The crossing to Ireland Debauchery - so, it should have been sorted. The Bucket of Fuck van would go direct to Dublin from Hollyhead on the ferry, with all the gear and 5 people. The mini-bus had to drive to Stranraer in Scotland to cross over to Belfast with the other 11 people. They would then get picked up in Belfast by a friend and be taken to the gig in Dublin, since we couldnt take the rented mini-bus into Ireland due to insurance. easy enough, right? wrong. We arrived in plenty of time (12PM) in Hollyhead, waiting for our ferry at 2:30. Discovered we were now delayed cos of weather and were on a ferry at 3:30 which was a high speed one and would get to Dublin at 5:05PM. fair enough. phoned other guys, and they were all fine on ferry, except Hexa(merch guy for Unkind) who was held back to be interviewed by Police under the Anti-Terrorism act, all because they discovered he had a Noam Chomsky book!!! pile of shite. anyway, he caught a later ferry, and would get to Belfast at 5, so they reckoned they'd get to Dublin about 8PM. Thats fair enough. Then, more trouble our end, our ferry was changed again to a sailing at 4:30 which would get in at 7:30. SUppose thats alright, but not ideal. 5 o' clock and we're still not on the ferry. 5:30, van is on ferry, we're not moving. Ferry finally sets sail about 6.so we'd maybe get there by about 9. not good. Further delayed bcause of a car ferrry leaving Dublin port, so had to wait outside the port. Finally got into Dublin port at 10. got to venue at 10:20. FUCKED! had to cut all our sets short and kick two local bands off the bill as I believe. Fucking arse!
Dublin - so asides from the ferry bull shit, the gig was alright. Got drunk, saw lots of old mates from Easpa Measa and others. Went back to house, huge party in a small room to cheesy disco music. Some others went to another house which was apparently quieter, but well, it wasn't, it was worse apparently. Anyway, i slept in a very very uncomfortable position and got a sore back. Went to town next day in search of Randy Savage t-shirts(as we were informed about by Nina, sexy girl number 5). couldn't find them Sad Jeeves, our drummer wasn't driving, and got very drunk in the morning and was adamant to stay in Dublin rather than go play our gig in Belfast. but we got him out eventually. Headed to...
Belfast - got good food, and then gig was crazy. Punks in Belfats were nuts. Atomgevitter had their clothes riped off, and Roddy even dipped his cock in his pint of guinness on several occasions and drank it. Party back at Glynn Dagda's hosue was going good. Plenty beer, buckfast, table football, Today is the Day, Iron Monkey, sorted! But then the coppers turned up cos of the noise. oh the shame. woke up in boxers, with cock in full view of world, and half a half bottle of buckfast in my hand.
Edinburgh - this time both vans went from Belfast to Stranraer.no problems with delays. but our van battery died at Security in Belfast. luckily had spare one.got on ferry, crossed, security at other side made us fill in cards about Anti-Terror act, asked us questions, got the sniffer dog to check us out. poor dog. we aint showered in 10 days. the other van picked up some hitchhikers from Aberdeen. he he. both gils. lucky guys. anyway, got to Edinburgh, GOOD food from House of Crust, then on to gig, which again, was good. Played lots of pool, my mate adam was dressed as a girl. Went back, no real partying hard, but getting very drunk with a 24 crate I'd bought earlier. Ben slept in van, and was woken up by police about a suspicious happening in the area. They let him off.

Next day, we dropped off Unkind at airport, had lunch in Glasgow, then me, Ben, Roddy and Stefan went to a gig in Glasgow. Atomgevitter meant to play as well as Oi Polloi, but both had to cancel. Anyway, went to gig, got REALLY drunk, acted like idiots. Then, invited some poor lonely american guy back to have a party. But, well, the van broke down halfway there, hahaha. Spent ages trying to fix it, extremely drunk. No use. got it into a gear and pushed it out of the road to a parking spot. Just after we did, cops showed up. They were cool, left us alone without any questions. Wouldn't leave tillw e sang them a song. "Oh you're the polis, you're on the night shift, yev ginger hair and oor van is ucked!" Just as they were about to leave, 3 more cop cars turned up. But, nothing happened. We walked back to Stefan's and were peeing in the street, getting dicks out, drinking whisky, putting chairs on parked cars then getting in trouble form the neighbours because we touched their skateboard. Anyway, next morning, went and sat in van for 3 hours waiting for a repair truck, One turned up half an hour after we got there, but left straight away. Other showed up 3 hours later and loaded the van on the back, drove us back to Aberdeen. He had a DVD player in the back, so that was cool.

PS If any of sexy girl number 1-5 reads this, leave a comment, and tell me I'm a pervvy cunt rag.

[Roddy]

ha ha yeah geting closer to the full story!

[Kierkegaard]

Absolute genius. Cannae wait till we get out on tour somewhere, although I'll try to avoid the urination problems and trigger-happy Anti-Terrorist squad

[Roddy]

daves handlebar moustache was absolutely perfect as well anyone slightly sozzled would think it was the real deal!

[thurisaz]

James said that the next morning, form a distance, it looked like a proper stubbly Tom Selleck.

fucking ace. especially with Hexa's avatar's on.

I'm gonna wtahc it, and I'm gonna wank....

OOOOOOOOOOH YEEEEEEEEEAH!!!!

[millahuilerud]

So we get back from Europe with Oi Polloi and I find out that my car has been sold by the insurance company. (See, some young ne’er to well tried to jack it the night before we left on tour. Tried and failed but busted the door, the steering column and the ignition. So we had it towed at the last minute and then whisked off on a truly ridiculous tour.) So stuck in Edinburgh, we figured it would actually be cheaper to rent a car than all take the train, so Sìne and I went and did that. We were so tired and got all lost in Leith. I think Sìne was hallucinating with exhaustion at this point.

We stuffed five of us and the guitars in the little golf cart that they rented us and drove to Glasgow. When we arrived at the 13th Note, no show! We knew Oi Polloi would be cancelling, but Atomgewitter also cancelled and so no backline. I started desperately calling around and finally got in touch with the Atomgewitter lads and they kindly offered to lend us some drums. This was good ‘cause a few people drove all the way from Skye to see the show. When Atomgewitter shows up we greet them with (metaphorical) sloppy kisses - until we realized that they have no cymbals.

Fortunately a friend of mine brought along a friend of hers who lives around the corner and might have some cymbals. So we drive to his house and we find three cymbals that might work, but no hi-hat clutch. Back at the club, we duct-tape the hi-hats on and get ready to rock. Now here I should say that Sìne, Sgrios and I were so tired and sick and hallucinatory, that we did not actually believe we were playing a punk show, but that we were a cat, a mouse, and a big fluffy dog on a charming adventure trying to find our way back to Jenny and Tommy in their big house by the sea (in Scottish Gaelic with subtitles).

Not many people showed up because the other two bands cancelled and everyone thought the show was off, but we played for a couple dozen of our friends and had a great time. Atomgewitter was quite drunk and silly which added to the spectacle of degradation. They ended the show by playing an encore for us, a cover of an Oi Polloi song. So it all worked out in the end.

[Roddy]

welcome to our horrid little world baby! ready to rock our dirty split 7"??

[millahuilerud]

I am on Skye still and the rest of “Ruin Everything” are back on the hillbilly commune in Seattle. I will be flying back next week and we will start practicing then and hopefully going into the studio to record shortly after that. We don’t have a drum set just now which is a bummer, but I think we should have the money to buy one soon. That really is pathetic but punk, to have an album out, but no drum set. We always just borrowed one. But the dude who last loaned us his is in a band now, so we have been set-less for most of the last year.

So the question is, how is your Gaelic coming along? Are you still taking the cùrsa inntrigidh this fall from Sabhal Mòr Ostaig? Have you written any more songs in Gaelic? Are you still a monkey? If you have any questions about Gaelic, I am your personal Gaelic love slave. If I don’t know the answer, Ruairidh will. His Gaelic is off the hook. Really in the end we are all his pawns in his global evil plot of Gaelic world domination.

I just finished a song today about rocking out in Steòrnabhagh and I am working on another song about the sublime virtues of kissing. I think we will put our disco song on the comp, Crath do thòin (Shake your butt), or our song about Sabhal Mòr Ostaig, but I am not sure. Also my techno band is supposed to have a song on it too. The singer (Anna Ròc) and I recorded the live tracks and sent them to our geeks in San Francisco to get the techno treatment over six months ago, and we haven’t heard back yet. Punk loosers.

Ròc sa Ghàidhlig no thalla ‘s tarraing! Tim

[psydoll]

Originally Posted by thurisaz

PS If any of sexy girl number 1-5 reads this, leave a comment, and tell me I'm a pervvy cunt rag.

You're a pervvy cunt rag.

Sexy Girl 4.

[rev.kettenhoond]

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! HA!

[Roddy]

hmmmmmm