Romans on the rampage

alien_syndm · 14th March 2004, 02:30 PM

Julius Caesar was addressing the crowd in the Coliseum.

"Friends, Romans and Countrymen, lend me your ears. Tomorrow I take our
glorious army to conquer Northern Europe and I shall start with France.
We shall kill many Gauls and return victorious."

The crowd are up on their feet "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. Hail mighty
Caesar"

Brutus turns to his mate and says
"He doesn't half talk some sh*te him. He couldn't fight his way out of a
wet parchment bag."

Six months later, Caesar comes back having conquered France and
addresses the crowd in the Coliseum.
"Friends, Romans and Countrymen, I have returned from our campaign in
France and as I promised, we killed 50,000 Gauls".

The crowd are up on their feet again.
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. Hail mighty Caesar".

Brutus once again turns to his mate.
"I'm sick of his bullsh*t, I'm off to France to check this out."

So Brutus sets of for France and three weeks later he comes back to
Rome.
Caesar is addressing the public in the Coliseum again.
"Friends, Romans and Countrymen, tomorrow we set off for Britain and we
are
going to sort those b*stards out"
The crowd are up on their feet.
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. Hail mighty Caesar"

Brutus jumps up and shouts
"Caesar, you are a liar. You told us that you had killed 50,000 Gauls in

France but I've been there to check it out and you only killed 25,000
!!!!"

The crowd are stunned and all sit down in silence.
Caesar gets up and looks slowly round the Coliseum then across at Brutus

and
says
"Brutus, you are forgetting one
thing....................................

Away Gauls count double in Europe."

njw · 14th March 2004, 02:43 PM

*sigh*

Chosenreject · 14th March 2004, 02:46 PM

ha, that shouldnt be funny.

Chavez · 14th March 2004, 07:26 PM

Wot? Im sorrry i dont get it :S and its horrible. i always get jokes. thats why im here.

Is it a football joke? Cos that would be fine. I hate football.

alien_syndm · 14th March 2004, 07:31 PM

Yeah its football away gauls = away goals

alien_syndm · 17th March 2004, 07:30 PM

A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says; "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a moth."

Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist."

Man: "Yes, I know."

Dentist: "So why did you come in here?"

Man: "The light was on..."

Rebelius · 17th March 2004, 07:33 PM

that just...

...isn't funny?

xdavidx · 17th March 2004, 09:47 PM

haha both legendary, you people have no sense of humour

Talcum · 17th March 2004, 10:03 PM

Both raised a snigger here.

Chavez · 18th March 2004, 01:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alien_syndm

A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says; "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a moth."

Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist."

Man: "Yes, I know."

Dentist: "So why did you come in here?"

Man: "The light was on..."

i enjoyed that one......

alien_syndm · 18th March 2004, 10:49 PM

One day the purple man was hungry, so he got his purple bow and his purple arrow and leaving his purple house he headed off into the purple forest. Now the purple forest was famous for its purple deer, so the purple man hid behind a purple tree and waited for one of the purple deer to walk past. After a while the purple man was rewarded. As a purple deer neared him, he drew back the purple string on his purple bow and let go a purple arrow. The purple arrow hit the purple deer, and the purple deer fell dead on the purple ground. Unforunately for the purple man, it was illegal to shoot the purple deer in the purple forest, and he had been seen by the Purple King's law officer - the purple sheriff. The purple sheriff grabbed the purple man and took him to the purple castle to stand before the purple king. When the purple king heard what the purple man had done he sentenced him to 10 years in the purple prison. So the purple guard grabbed the purple man, walked him down the purple steps towards the purple dungeon. When they got there the purple guards used his purple key, opened the purple cell door, grabbed hold of the purple man and said.......

"Indigo".

alien_syndm · 18th March 2004, 11:33 PM

indigo = in you go , ya daft cunt

Rebelius · 18th March 2004, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alien_syndm

indigo = in you go , ya daft cunt

what you on about?

who wouldn't get that?

alien_syndm · 18th March 2004, 11:48 PM

hahahaha appears someone got rid of their post to avoid looking a bit silly !!

14th March 2004, 02:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
alien_syndm Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: dundee Posts: 1,435	Romans on the rampage Julius Caesar was addressing the crowd in the Coliseum. "Friends, Romans and Countrymen, lend me your ears. Tomorrow I take our glorious army to conquer Northern Europe and I shall start with France. We shall kill many Gauls and return victorious." The crowd are up on their feet "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. Hail mighty Caesar" Brutus turns to his mate and says "He doesn't half talk some shte him. He couldn't fight his way out of a wet parchment bag." Six months later, Caesar comes back having conquered France and addresses the crowd in the Coliseum. "Friends, Romans and Countrymen, I have returned from our campaign in France and as I promised, we killed 50,000 Gauls". The crowd are up on their feet again. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. Hail mighty Caesar". Brutus once again turns to his mate. "I'm sick of his bullsht, I'm off to France to check this out." So Brutus sets of for France and three weeks later he comes back to Rome. Caesar is addressing the public in the Coliseum again. "Friends, Romans and Countrymen, tomorrow we set off for Britain and we are going to sort those b*stards out" The crowd are up on their feet. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. Hail mighty Caesar" Brutus jumps up and shouts "Caesar, you are a liar. You told us that you had killed 50,000 Gauls in France but I've been there to check it out and you only killed 25,000 !!!!" The crowd are stunned and all sit down in silence. Caesar gets up and looks slowly round the Coliseum then across at Brutus and says "Brutus, you are forgetting one thing.................................... Away Gauls count double in Europe."

14th March 2004, 02:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
njw Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: DD1 Posts: 8,227	sigh

14th March 2004, 02:46 PM	#3 (permalink)
Chosenreject Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Glenrothes Posts: 323	ha, that shouldnt be funny.

14th March 2004, 07:26 PM	#4 (permalink)
Chavez Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Dundee Posts: 1,891	Wot? Im sorrry i dont get it :S and its horrible. i always get jokes. thats why im here. Is it a football joke? Cos that would be fine. I hate football.

14th March 2004, 07:31 PM	#5 (permalink)
alien_syndm Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: dundee Posts: 1,435	Yeah its football away gauls = away goals

17th March 2004, 07:30 PM	#6 (permalink)
alien_syndm Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: dundee Posts: 1,435	A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says; "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a moth." Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist." Man: "Yes, I know." Dentist: "So why did you come in here?" Man: "The light was on..."

17th March 2004, 07:33 PM	#7 (permalink)
Rebelius Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Edinburgh Posts: 7,213	that just... ...isn't funny?

17th March 2004, 09:47 PM	#8 (permalink)
xdavidx Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Glasgow. Posts: 6,998 Band: Spitelicker, LOLsquad.	haha both legendary, you people have no sense of humour

17th March 2004, 10:03 PM	#9 (permalink)
Talcum Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: wherever makes me c00l, dickhead. Posts: 1,129	Both raised a snigger here.

18th March 2004, 10:49 PM	#11 (permalink)
alien_syndm Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: dundee Posts: 1,435	One day the purple man was hungry, so he got his purple bow and his purple arrow and leaving his purple house he headed off into the purple forest. Now the purple forest was famous for its purple deer, so the purple man hid behind a purple tree and waited for one of the purple deer to walk past. After a while the purple man was rewarded. As a purple deer neared him, he drew back the purple string on his purple bow and let go a purple arrow. The purple arrow hit the purple deer, and the purple deer fell dead on the purple ground. Unforunately for the purple man, it was illegal to shoot the purple deer in the purple forest, and he had been seen by the Purple King's law officer - the purple sheriff. The purple sheriff grabbed the purple man and took him to the purple castle to stand before the purple king. When the purple king heard what the purple man had done he sentenced him to 10 years in the purple prison. So the purple guard grabbed the purple man, walked him down the purple steps towards the purple dungeon. When they got there the purple guards used his purple key, opened the purple cell door, grabbed hold of the purple man and said....... "Indigo".

18th March 2004, 11:33 PM	#12 (permalink)
alien_syndm Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: dundee Posts: 1,435	indigo = in you go , ya daft cunt

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18th March 2004, 11:48 PM	#14 (permalink)
alien_syndm Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: dundee Posts: 1,435	hahahaha appears someone got rid of their post to avoid looking a bit silly !!