Kevin Smith Films - Page 2

Absinthe Minded · 1st March 2003, 08:23 PM

Clerks all the way!

~~~~~~~~

Randal: This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers.
~~~~~~~~

Randal: An embolism in a pool.
Dante: An embarrassing way to die.
Randal: That's nothing compared to how my cousin Walter died.
Dante: How'd he die?
Randal: He broke his neck.
Dante: That's embarrassing?
Randal: He broke his neck trying to suck his own dick
~~~~~~~~

Dante: I can't fucking believe you!
Randal: I'm telling you it was'nt my fault!
Dante: You knocked the fucking casket over, for Chrissakes!
Randal: I was just leaning on it! It was an accident!
Dante: Does anyone ever knock over a casket on purpose?
Randal: So the casket fell over! Big deal!
Dante: Her fucking body fell out!
~~~~~~~~

Jay: Shit, my grandma used to say,"which is better: a good plate with nothing on it..." No, wait, I fucked up. She said "What's a good-looking plate with nothing on it?"
Dante: Meaning?
Jay: I don't know. She was senile and shit. Used to piss herself all the time.
~~~~~~~~

Randal: I don't know if you've noticed or not but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away.

Classy Stuff

Gary V1 · 1st March 2003, 08:27 PM

Ah hilarious, the drunken memories from being just in from Smiths and watching it and pissing myself laughing, well not literally Im sure your mum wouldnt be happy

Gary V1 · 1st March 2003, 09:16 PM

ok for those who havent heard the genius that is clerks here is a couple of bits 37!!! and randall

Gary V1 · 1st March 2003, 09:40 PM

Oops second one didn't work hopefully this is it randall

suspended in the raw ether · 3rd March 2003, 10:16 AM

mallrats is by far the best, and its only £3 in virgin right now as someone before stated ahh kicks ass. freddy got fingered is better than them all Tom Green is the funniest panker ill ever know. "look at me, Im a farmer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" urrgh

Gary V1 · 3rd March 2003, 08:53 PM

I bought Jay And Silent Bob today, seen it before but another one to add to my largely unwatched video collection. Only Chasing Amy to get now.

Jo Jo · 3rd March 2003, 11:53 PM

I think Chasing Amy is the one I like the least out of them all, probably co J&SB were hardly in it.

Snootch to tha mutha fuckin nootch!

good ol' Eck · 4th March 2003, 08:45 PM

Yeah Chasin Amy is the least best but it aint a shit film. I didnt like it as much mainly cos Silent bob talks more than Jay and thats just wrong. I voted for mallrats although that was a hard choice. Quality quotes (or some anyways)

Actually id probably have to quote entire films but yeah good shit.

Jay-Arsey · 3rd April 2003, 08:48 AM

Sooooo glad that Clerks is winning, for any that havnt seen it WATCH IT NOW...the star wars conversation is just amazingly funny, as is the part with the milk....oh and the eggs...of fuck it its all funny.

Gary V1 · 3rd April 2003, 01:29 PM

Ah yes when the the roofer comes in and starts talking about personal politics?? That was a classic moment.

Thats why I masturbate large ammals for artificial insemination

Or something along those lines

Kath · 3rd April 2003, 05:35 PM

I was watching clerks again l;ast night but fell asleep cos i was knackered.

Still one of my favourite lines is -

dante - "My girlfriend sucked thirty seven dicks!"
customer - "in a row?

ahhhhhhhh

Gary V1 · 3rd April 2003, 09:55 PM

Try not to suck any dick on your way to the parking lot.........hey you get back here!

Fat Pete · 3rd April 2003, 10:29 PM

i think it's generally agreed that the strong point of any kevin smith film (dogma aside) is his very human portrayal of inter-personal relationships. personally though, i like the jokes about willies.

Gary V1 · 3rd April 2003, 10:49 PM

hehe very well said

silversurfer · 4th April 2003, 02:49 PM

my vote had to go to clerks, as it's just funny as hell, if ya ever get the chance download the cartoon version of clerks as they are fuckin ace too, and also download the diffrent endin to clerks (think u can get it from kazaa-lite)

View Poll Results: Whats the best?
Clerks	9	40.91%
Mallrats	7	31.82%
Dogma	1	4.55%
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back	3	13.64%
Chasing Amy	0	0%
Dude they all suck!	2	9.09%
Voters: 22. You may not vote on this poll

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1st March 2003, 08:23 PM	#16 (permalink)
Absinthe Minded Registered User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Kirkintilloch Posts: 279	Clerks all the way! ~~~~~~~~ Randal: This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers. ~~~~~~~~ Randal: An embolism in a pool. Dante: An embarrassing way to die. Randal: That's nothing compared to how my cousin Walter died. Dante: How'd he die? Randal: He broke his neck. Dante: That's embarrassing? Randal: He broke his neck trying to suck his own dick ~~~~~~~~ Dante: I can't fucking believe you! Randal: I'm telling you it was'nt my fault! Dante: You knocked the fucking casket over, for Chrissakes! Randal: I was just leaning on it! It was an accident! Dante: Does anyone ever knock over a casket on purpose? Randal: So the casket fell over! Big deal! Dante: Her fucking body fell out! ~~~~~~~~ Jay: Shit, my grandma used to say,"which is better: a good plate with nothing on it..." No, wait, I fucked up. She said "What's a good-looking plate with nothing on it?" Dante: Meaning? Jay: I don't know. She was senile and shit. Used to piss herself all the time. ~~~~~~~~ Randal: I don't know if you've noticed or not but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away. Classy Stuff

1st March 2003, 08:27 PM	#17 (permalink)
Gary V1 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Cumbernauld Posts: 1,808	Ah hilarious, the drunken memories from being just in from Smiths and watching it and pissing myself laughing, well not literally Im sure your mum wouldnt be happy

1st March 2003, 09:16 PM	#18 (permalink)
Gary V1 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Cumbernauld Posts: 1,808	ok for those who havent heard the genius that is clerks here is a couple of bits 37!!! and randall

1st March 2003, 09:40 PM	#19 (permalink)
Gary V1 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Cumbernauld Posts: 1,808	Oops second one didn't work hopefully this is it randall

3rd March 2003, 10:16 AM	#20 (permalink)
suspended in the raw ether Registered User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Edinburger Posts: 153	mallrats is by far the best, and its only £3 in virgin right now as someone before stated ahh kicks ass. freddy got fingered is better than them all Tom Green is the funniest panker ill ever know. "look at me, Im a farmer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" urrgh

3rd March 2003, 08:53 PM	#21 (permalink)
Gary V1 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Cumbernauld Posts: 1,808	I bought Jay And Silent Bob today, seen it before but another one to add to my largely unwatched video collection. Only Chasing Amy to get now.

3rd March 2003, 11:53 PM	#22 (permalink)
Jo Jo DANG!!! Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: between Iraq and a hard place Posts: 3,297	I think Chasing Amy is the one I like the least out of them all, probably co J&SB were hardly in it. Snootch to tha mutha fuckin nootch!

4th March 2003, 08:45 PM	#23 (permalink)
good ol' Eck Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Dundee Posts: 789	Yeah Chasin Amy is the least best but it aint a shit film. I didnt like it as much mainly cos Silent bob talks more than Jay and thats just wrong. I voted for mallrats although that was a hard choice. Quality quotes (or some anyways) Actually id probably have to quote entire films but yeah good shit.

3rd April 2003, 08:48 AM	#24 (permalink)
Jay-Arsey Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Midlands Posts: 108	Sooooo glad that Clerks is winning, for any that havnt seen it WATCH IT NOW...the star wars conversation is just amazingly funny, as is the part with the milk....oh and the eggs...of fuck it its all funny.

3rd April 2003, 01:29 PM	#25 (permalink)
Gary V1 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Cumbernauld Posts: 1,808	Ah yes when the the roofer comes in and starts talking about personal politics?? That was a classic moment. Thats why I masturbate large ammals for artificial insemination Or something along those lines

3rd April 2003, 05:35 PM	#26 (permalink)
Kath Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Uddingston Posts: 573	I was watching clerks again l;ast night but fell asleep cos i was knackered. Still one of my favourite lines is - dante - "My girlfriend sucked thirty seven dicks!" customer - "in a row? ahhhhhhhh

3rd April 2003, 09:55 PM	#27 (permalink)
Gary V1 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Cumbernauld Posts: 1,808	Try not to suck any dick on your way to the parking lot.........hey you get back here!

3rd April 2003, 10:29 PM	#28 (permalink)
Fat Pete Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Fintry. Sorry... Posts: 985	i think it's generally agreed that the strong point of any kevin smith film (dogma aside) is his very human portrayal of inter-personal relationships. personally though, i like the jokes about willies.

3rd April 2003, 10:49 PM	#29 (permalink)
Gary V1 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Cumbernauld Posts: 1,808	hehe very well said

4th April 2003, 02:49 PM	#30 (permalink)
silversurfer Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: keighley Posts: 32	my vote had to go to clerks, as it's just funny as hell, if ya ever get the chance download the cartoon version of clerks as they are fuckin ace too, and also download the diffrent endin to clerks (think u can get it from kazaa-lite)