Drunken elks attack old peoples home and steal a bike

[humndislocation]

How awesome is this story? I want to be a fucking elk

http://www.guardian.co.uk/internatio...639965,00.html

A drunken party of elks surrounded an old people's home in Sweden and had to be driven away by armed police, Sweden's media reported yesterday.

The elks attacked the home in the town of Östra Göinge, near Malmö, after devouring large numbers of fermented apples, the paper Dagens Nyheter said. Police with dogs had failed to scare them off, and the animals only ran away after hunters with guns arrived on the scene.

"It's not unusual for elks to get drunk," forester Fredrik Jönsson told the newspaper. "They don't recognise the difference between fermented and not fermented and stuff themselves down to the last apple." Mr Jönsson did not know how many apples the elks had eaten.

There have been previous problems with elks: a female elk recently attacked three joggers in Norway. Last year another elk in Sweden stole a bicycle from a garden, which it regularly visited to eat the roses. An elderly couple had used the bike to fence off their garden; the elk disappeared with the bike hanging round its neck. The bike was later found bent and damaged beyond repair.

Once widespread across Europe, elks now live in Canada, Scandinavia, the Baltics, Poland and the Czech Republic. Earlier this week, however, an elk was spotted for the first time in recent memory in Bavaria, after apparently wandering across the Czech-German border.

The 7ft high giant elk died out during the last ice age.

[Keerin]

thats well cooler than my real life pirate story. thats actually awesome.

[protex_rick]

lol...it started to read like elks coulda been some mad biker gang or something...
thats fucking insane though, imgaine telling your mates that an elk just beat the living piss outta ya then nicked off wie yer bike!

[Rebelius]

haha, that's amazing!

there's no pics though

[Rich]

For a minute there I forgot what elks were, I pictured them as midgets.

I'm an idiot.

But thats a funny story.

[Keerin]

Originally Posted by Rich

For a minute there I forgot what elks were, I pictured them as midgets.

I'm an idiot.

But thats a funny story.

would be funnier if it was wild midgets.

[DissolveD_JameS]

I suggest we have a make-a-photo-to-go-with-this-story competition.

[Rebelius]

Originally Posted by DissolveD_JameS

I suggest we have a make-a-photo-to-go-with-this-story competition.

if i could make photos, mine would involve an elk on a raleigh chopper with a bottle of white lightning in it's hand and wearing a santa hat.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by Keerin

would be funnier if it was wild midgets.

Definately.

[Chunder]

Road sign hanging from its antlers and a dodgy Im on the pull style teeshirt

[RealR]

haha thats great

[DissolveD_JameS]

I want somebody to make a photo.

[Püke Fyst]

hahaha, i've heard of elephants doing this as well and flattening entire villages. Shit, imagine a pissed up rumble between those extinct 7ft giant elks and some elephants? I'd pay to see that. I mean, i'd pay an entrance fee or pay-per view subscription to see that, not that i would pay a load of scientists to genetically engineer some 7ft elks so as they could get pissed and fight some pissed elephants. well, i would if i could afford it, but anyway...........