Remember when...

[LimpKnot]

I used to have wet dreams about one of my teachers.

[Zildjiain]

The Stand Up game is the best thing ever.

You stand up until the teacher tells you to sit down. As soon as you do someone else stands up. You keep doing this until you all get in trouble.

Its fantastic and our 4th year Geography teacher actually flipped at our class for doing it for a whole period.

I'm tempted to start it at Uni...

Also once a whole floor of our school was shut down because a boil on the foot of our Obese teacher's foot burst. He was called Mr. Mole.

[Lynnie]

Originally Posted by ProzaK

i wouldn't mess with madman saunders!
he used to be a wrestler you know!

We had a teacher who was supposidly a wrestler at our school, he was the "maths" teacher. he was scary, mauler malone, oh how i miss him...

he was the only person ever to give me a punishment exercise, for having my hands on the desk


did every school have a wrestler?

[Bikerboy]

I love thinking back to school days, I reckon some of my stories are most def ftw.

The first set of lines I ever got was in primary school for skating on this absolutely gigantic ice puddle in the playground. About 15 of us got caught and we were made to write down 20 reasons why it was dangerous to skate on the ice. It went something like this -

1. You might break your skull
2. You might break your back
3. You might break your wrist...

and so on.

The second I started High School I became a loud mouthed dick. I had a detention at least once a week, usually for being loud or being involved in some completely stupid 'piss-off' the teacher routine. One of the funniest I remember was in maths where about ten of us made the seats squeak everytime the teacher turned their back.

I used to get letters sent to my mum and dad to make sure I did my homework constantly, but was only ever put on a conduct sheet once.

By the time I got to 3rd or 4th year I was a part of the 'Bully Squad' and was once associated with something called 'Potters Army' but I can't remember exactly what that was about... I am going to enquire; fyi I never named it, it was the idea of someone else...

Anyway, in the 'Bully Squad' we had numerous devices of torture and sources of pleasure.

At lunch we used to grab younger kids and 'leg and a wing' them down the 'Bru Hill' (Irn Bru Hill), which was a mount of about 8 - 10 feet, at a steep as fuck angle onto a road which was incdentally covered in the glass of our broken Irn Bru bottles we used to roll down it (hence 'Bru Hill'). Others, and ourselves (we never cared for each other much either), also often suffered being stuffed in the grit bin, which was also filled with smashed glass; bully circles (self explanatory surely?); electric poleys where we rammed the persons dick into this broken fence and then proceeded to shake it as hard as we could so it clattered of their testicles; ball shots and stampede's out of classes down the corridors and stairs, more or less crowd surfing down pushing everyone anywhere without a care in the world.

The worst thing we used to do was continually bully this guy Robert Shanks in our year, on reflection we were fucking horrible. The worst game we used to play was to see how many times we could make him cry in a lunch hour, the record was 7 or something. The worst thing we did to him was lock him in one of those equipment storage boxes from the star of lunch until 6th period or something.

Suprisingly, I never got caught for being involved in any of the above.

In fourth year I was pulled in front of the vice-principal for shining a laser pen in the rear view mirror of our bus, I can't remember my punishment, but I do remember a phone call at dinner time from my guidance councillor landing me in the shit. In fifth year I was banned from Craft and Design for punching someone in the face while they were using the giant belt sander... safe to say that was not my best idea.

The subject of the bus brings up about another million infringements of decent social conduct, ranging from smoking at the back, singing abusive songs about the bus driver (Frank the driver you're a wanker, repeatedly) to how many times can we get the bus to stop before we go home; this game in it's later years became, how many times can we get Frank to threaten to take us to the police station, to how many times can we get the police to come out to our bus at a lay-by at the side of the road to tell us off, or consequently drive us home (thankfully the latter never happened to me)

By 5th year I was a resigned stoner and spent most of my days behind the Spar shop smoking cheap resin. One day I smoked far too much, went to get food from the Spar, and passed out when the women handed me my change, from that day forth, they wouldn't sell me skins or tobacco.

By 6th year I was a veritable angel, if you exclude streaking, pulling down a set of lockers, being shit faced from nights out most weeks, getting shit faced on whisky on my last day and falling into a vending machine when being questioned by some teacher, punching some kid in the face for being wide, continual bad behaviour on the bus and stealing the clocks from the assembly hall and concourse, legging it to my mates car being driven away as the rector stood in front of us and making him run out of the way.

Also, although this is bound to be severely frowned upon we made a swatstika out of the yellow and blue assemly hall chairs after a battle of the bands once... I had a photo on my old phone, but it won't switch on, so I can't post it up. You need to see it to understand the true genius of what we did, despite the emblem. Just think about the rector doing a school assembly and looking out over the room and realising what was in front of him.

[Bikerboy]

Apologies for the stupildly long post.

[ProzaK]

potter, you are a fucking king.

[Shawman]

i mind getting a punny when my teacher overheard me saying she had a big arse

[kj]

Originally Posted by Bikerboy

Apologies for the stupildly long post.

It makes a change.

*ouch*

[azzemojo]

My regi teacher played keyboard for Deacon Blue, Danny Wilson and Simply Red haha!

i remember when our RE class made our teacher have a nervous brakedown haha we got in shit.

Also i remember when i launched a half full tin of coke from the edge of the playground up into a 3rd floor science room and breaking a very dear experiment. Im sure half the teachers in the art department saw me, but never said anything. Most amazing throw in my life considering i throw like a girl

[.star*]

Originally Posted by Lynnie

did every school have a wrestler?

It would seem so, at my high school we had 'Gripper Brown'.


My one and only punishment exercise was in Primary 5 for swinging on the goalposts at during 'playtime'. I had to write out the 2x table 3 times whereas everyone else only had to write it out twice, I was class rep so I guess they thought I was abusing my authority :/

Also, what school did this Mr Saunders teach at, and what subject did he teach? i'm wondering if it's my friends dad!

I also remember in 6th year, a bunch of the guys picked up this teachers car and moved it down the street

[arbroathamy]

Originally Posted by ubermensch

Man, I felt sorry for a lot of teachers in my school. Some of them were genuinely nice and obviously had a passion to teach people. Mr Bigham from Arbroath High sticks out in my mind, only because we was the loveliest guy you could ever meet and people gave him crap all the time. He was a very good teacher as well, and obviously cared about his students.

Some of them were right bentshots though. I don't know whether they originally had good intentions and became jaded after spending years trying to get morons to shut up, or they were just genuinely nasty pieces of work. Did anyone ever notice that a lot of these teachers taught Foundation classes too? I think that's pretty pointless; surely a bit of motivation from a good teacher is better than getting some power-hungry arsefuck that just sits back and teaches them absolutely nothing.

I was a good boy in high school, but a total pain in the arse when I was a primary kid. I had a bad temper and started fights with other kids quite a lot. Lines were nasty on the fist, they gave you 'Lego hand'.

Oh, and I'd like to add that ALL Home Economics teachers are failed pizza/kebab chefs with chips on their shoulders (probably literally).

aww Mr Bigham was sooooo nice!!

[Lynnie]

Originally Posted by .star*

It would seem so, at my high school we had 'Gripper Brown'.

haha i would have prefered gripper brown to mr malone. he pinned a girl in my class up against the door by her throat because she got out of her seat after the bell rang beofre he had given permission to move! He was rubbish, guess thats what i get for being a dumbass at maths!

[Rosco the Bosco]

Originally Posted by azzemojo

My regi teacher played keyboard for Deacon Blue, Danny Wilson and Simply Red haha!

Derek Thompson i presume?