The Thee Alex Guide to Poster Design for Dundee Gigs

Thee Alex · 17th March 2008, 07:13 PM

It's very simple to make a poster for a show in Dundee, you must follow the rules as laid out below -

*Pretend you're a promotions company and not just a bunch of stoners by putting '(insert made up name here) presents' at the top of your design.

*Find some clip art online, something military or germanic looking should do.

*Pick an 'ironic' VeryMetal font for the band names.

*Describe each band beneath their name (using a different font) making sure you liken them to groups the casual listener has even less chance of having heard of than the original band you're describing.

*Further show off how much you know about music by inventing some genres, mixing a couple of established ones will do.

*Drop in a couple of phrases unique to your home town, or that are injokes with your circle of friends.

*Book the Balcony Bar.

*Put that the door price is a 'tax' and set it between £3 and £5 depending upon how many bands are playing.

CONGRATULATIONS! You've made your first Dundee gig poster!!

neilcoalesce · 17th March 2008, 07:19 PM

It's funny because it's true.

AlanG · 17th March 2008, 07:19 PM

$5 tax

Thee Alex · 17th March 2008, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlanG

$5 tax

Surely that's more of an Arbroath thing?

Bleeder · 17th March 2008, 07:38 PM

Hmm, I wonder what the difference between "deathbombcore" and "deathcorebomb" is?

Thee Alex · 17th March 2008, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bleeder

Hmm, I wonder what the difference between "deathbombcore" and "deathcorebomb" is?

God, if you don't know there's no way it can be explained to you!!

My First Kev · 17th March 2008, 09:02 PM

it's not just "tax"

its "door tax"

neilcoalesce · 17th March 2008, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My First Kev

it's not just "tax"

its "door tax"

Another stealth tax blighting hard working people everywhere!

Iomega · 17th March 2008, 09:20 PM

*pointless ramblings*

graham enzk · 17th March 2008, 09:38 PM

look out dude, satire just missed you!

Iomega · 17th March 2008, 09:49 PM

So very true

Dashingmajor · 17th March 2008, 10:03 PM

I did a poster following that format. Only without the gothic typeface, and I used a photo as a background.

Check it out.

[IMG]

[/IMG]

It fits the bill don't you think?

humndislocation · 17th March 2008, 11:26 PM

Hahaha I've been meaning to do a Dundee gig poster parody for a while, but never got around to it.

Can't do it tonight, but I will try to find time to do this

jonny_spaceman · 18th March 2008, 11:41 AM

whatever you do with your poster be sure to not describe not your saviour as "dundee's premier triple pronged vocal onslaught" and the motherfuckers as "bone crushing hard rock". i did that a couple of years ago and they weren't real fucking happy about it

17th March 2008, 07:13 PM	#1 (permalink)
Thee Alex Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Solihull, West Midlands Posts: 3,646 Band: Thee Moths, Wülfstabber, Explosions and Screaming, Catface, DJ Wrong Homer, Señor Citizen, Thee Infinite Golden Universe, Sports, WRRRMS, former member of Lipsick!	The Thee Alex Guide to Poster Design for Dundee Gigs It's very simple to make a poster for a show in Dundee, you must follow the rules as laid out below - Pretend you're a promotions company and not just a bunch of stoners by putting '(insert made up name here) presents' at the top of your design. Find some clip art online, something military or germanic looking should do. Pick an 'ironic' VeryMetal font for the band names. Describe each band beneath their name (using a different font) making sure you liken them to groups the casual listener has even less chance of having heard of than the original band you're describing. Further show off how much you know about music by inventing some genres, mixing a couple of established ones will do. Drop in a couple of phrases unique to your home town, or that are injokes with your circle of friends. Book the Balcony Bar. Put that the door price is a 'tax' and set it between £3 and £5 depending upon how many bands are playing. CONGRATULATIONS! You've made your first Dundee gig poster!!

17th March 2008, 07:19 PM	#3 (permalink)
AlanG ModSword +5 of Editing Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Dundee Posts: 3,258	$5 tax __________________ Ernie Ross - "I'm not a rent-a-quote MP" 10 Sep 04 Ernie Ross being a rent-a-quote MP 23 Jul 04

17th March 2008, 09:20 PM	#9 (permalink)
Iomega Registered User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Montrose/Aberdeen Posts: 379 Band: Up-Sattelite	pointless ramblings Last edited by Iomega : 17th March 2008 at 09:52 PM.

17th March 2008, 09:38 PM	#10 (permalink)
graham enzk Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: back in the day Posts: 2,747 Band: condition21, ultramegaholocausticwhi rlwindzombiedeathsquad , utter fucking hate, distorted noise, tin pot hippies, spiteful	look out dude, satire just missed you! __________________ ENZK zine - over 1500 photos of bands you don't like. Also interviews, reviews and crap. condition21- Short! Fast! Crap! Tinned Tomatoes- My better half's veggie recipe blog

17th March 2008, 10:03 PM	#12 (permalink)
Dashingmajor Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Cupar Posts: 1,635 Band: Myvatn	I did a poster following that format. Only without the gothic typeface, and I used a photo as a background. Check it out. [IMG][/IMG] It fits the bill don't you think? __________________ -.-- --- ..- \| .- .-. . \| .- \| -.-. ..- -. -

17th March 2008, 07:19 PM	#2 (permalink)
neilcoalesce Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Muppet Labs Posts: 1,337	It's funny because it's true.

17th March 2008, 07:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
Bleeder Registered User Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Edinburgh Posts: 4	Hmm, I wonder what the difference between "deathbombcore" and "deathcorebomb" is?

17th March 2008, 09:02 PM	#7 (permalink)
My First Kev Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dundee Posts: 1,694	it's not just "tax" its "door tax"

17th March 2008, 09:49 PM	#11 (permalink)
Iomega Registered User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Montrose/Aberdeen Posts: 379 Band: Up-Sattelite	So very true

17th March 2008, 11:26 PM	#13 (permalink)
humndislocation Hardcore is serious guys Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Dundee Posts: 5,735 Band: Blasphemous Necrorapist	Hahaha I've been meaning to do a Dundee gig poster parody for a while, but never got around to it. Can't do it tonight, but I will try to find time to do this

18th March 2008, 11:41 AM	#14 (permalink)
jonny_spaceman Senior Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: monifieth rock city Posts: 1,305	whatever you do with your poster be sure to not describe not your saviour as "dundee's premier triple pronged vocal onslaught" and the motherfuckers as "bone crushing hard rock". i did that a couple of years ago and they weren't real fucking happy about it