All cats Have Asperger Syndrome by Kathy Hoopmann

Two reviews in as many days I must be either over zealous or want of a slating by UGS posters….I believe it’s the latter. Also regardless of my last review which has so far earned itself a -20% in the author review section, I will carry on. For I have the resolve, fortitude, dedication and downright stubbornness of a kamikaze pilot. Couple that with free time of a death row convict and you have one sad fucker.

Here we go. The book in question today is: All cats have Asperger syndrome.
It’s a small book and clocks in at 65pages. The book is designed to help you gain a better understanding of people who unfortunately ( I resent using the word unfortunately as the majority of people who have Asperger syndrome that I have read about treat there condition as more of a blessing.) have Asperger Syndrome.

For those of you who don’t know. Asperger Syndrome is a variant of Autism. It is seen as being under the Autistic spectrum, but the symptoms like autism differ greatly from person to person. I know what your thinking right now “Autism….like Dustin Hoffman in rain man he had Autism, right?” Wrong he had Savant Syndrome, but I appreciate your enthusiasm...

The books format is a few words about Asperger Syndrome and a large picture of cat that directly relates to the information given i.e. all cats have Asperger syndrome…..I figured you would have got it, your all intelligent people right?
So the first sliver of information is “The first signs of Asperger Syndrome are usually picked up very young” the accompanying picture is that of a kitten sleeping.
The book is quite endearing with its use of imagery and simplified yet astute information. The book I feel would be geared towards a parent trying to explain to another of their children what their brother/sister has. Or as an invaluable tool to help teachers in the classroom when explaining to other children about their fellow classmates.

The book goes onto explain how many children with Asperger Syndrome (lets refer to it as A.S. for the sake of ease and time, shall we) usually have a heightened sense of smell and touch. Also how some children with A.S. prefer the comfort of toys as opposed to actual physical contact.

One of the nicest pictures in the book is of a cat with its head in a pot with the information below it reading “He’s often fussy about what he eats…….”
Now seeing this image has reminded me of a conversation that I had with the mad, football obsessed lesbian at my work today, who before I forget goes by the name of Shelley. Me and Shelley……sorry. Shelley and I, both watch a program called Deadliest Catch. Its basically fishing but……..EXTREME FISHING! Recently during the adverts that intersperse Deadliest Catch they have been advertising this new program called, Tuna Hunters or Tuna Warriors or Tuna Wars! Yeah it’s Tuna Wars. (Bare with me on this, I will get back to the cats) Shelley suggested I go round to hers and watch the new EXTREME FISHING program. The thing is when I thought about the concept Tuna Wars I got this overwhelming urge to pull my dusty copy of Risk the board game from my cupboard, set it up then take about 10 to 15 cans of Tuna and cover each of the armies in it. Any left over Tuna would be stockpiled in the respective army’s continent or continents as the game progressed. The problem with this fish orientated war of mine is that the fantasy is so vivid that I can imagine the battle cry’s for John West and the ensuing madness which would follow.
Sorry I apologise I am digressing and deviating and procrastinating and…..well you get the drift.
Back to the book then. Actually this is a perfect time to point out the possibility of all of this transpiring in the cat world, with a few pushes in the right direction granted but plausible none the less. Obviously we would have to give the cats a subtle nudge mainly in the areas of combat formations and modern warfare, because they have territory down to a tee don’t they. Cats are intelligent and they could pick it up, after all they have Asperger Syndrome according to this book.
Again I digress I digress, sorry back to the book.

It later goes onto describe how children and adults alike with A.S. get locked into their own little worlds. Often only coming out to talk about their specialist subject regardless of the person they are the having the conversation with feelings. A lot of people with A.S. have a specialist subject e.g. trains, computers, pencils (yes I shit you not, pencils.)
Has this turned into a synopsis of the traits associated with A.S. or is it still a book review, or has it turned into a rally cry for a Tuna War. I’m sowing the seeds I can assure you of that.
Regardless of all my incessant ramblings the book is insightful, humbling and amusing. For a syndrome that is on the rise and is increasingly overlooked by teachers and doctors alike, and may go undiagnosed for years this book may help you spot some of the signs. It is a valuable read if you have a spare 10 minutes or a fleeting interest in cats of Asperger Syndrome.

Even though this is the end of the review I can’t get the image of me stood amongst a plethora of cats, all colours and breeds. On a plinth with a tin of John West in one hand and a tin opener in the other. The sound of their mewing almost piercing my ears as it builds to a cacophony as I tap the tin.
This is the start my feline warriors, this is the start!
Viva Victory!
Viva Naps!
Viva Tuna!