one for the php nerds, like me

kj · 18th May 2003, 02:41 AM

Student Suspended Over Suspected Use of PHP
Topeka, KS - High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP. "A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked," said Principal Clyde Thurlow. "We're not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB."

Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children's school, and are demanding the school do something. "We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet. There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds," said irate parent Carol Blessing. "School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write. Not about dangerous drugs like PHP."

In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP. Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did. They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs.

Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, "I don't know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin'. Yee haw!"

PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous. It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP. For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP please visit http://www.php.net.

Misanthropy · 18th May 2003, 03:09 AM

Hehehe.... The sad thing is, you could imagine it happening

Red_Baron · 18th May 2003, 10:37 AM

PHP is lo grade. He's lucky he wasn't trying the High grade stuff like Coldfusion ( very dangerous ), very dangerous. Although Python crossed with Zope is much more dangerous

njw · 18th May 2003, 11:16 AM

kj man, is that a true story?

please say it is...

shavenkitten · 18th May 2003, 12:03 PM

hahhaahah i actully red that! go on KJ is it true?

kj · 18th May 2003, 01:03 PM

it is true. i'm trying to remember who sent it to me.

shavenkitten · 18th May 2003, 05:06 PM

hahahaha fukin hell!!!

: : Scott : : · 19th May 2003, 12:34 AM

"function punk_rock(gain,speed) {

var punk = gain * speed;
return punk

}"

goodness, thats almost as bad as :

"there are 10 types of people in this world... those who get binary and those who dont"

18th May 2003, 02:41 AM	#1 (permalink)
kj gimp Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Scotland Posts: 13,678 Band: A band of merry men	one for the php nerds, like me Student Suspended Over Suspected Use of PHP Topeka, KS - High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP. "A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked," said Principal Clyde Thurlow. "We're not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB." Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children's school, and are demanding the school do something. "We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet. There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds," said irate parent Carol Blessing. "School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write. Not about dangerous drugs like PHP." In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP. Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did. They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs. Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, "I don't know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin'. Yee haw!" PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous. It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP. For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP please visit http://www.php.net. __________________ This community cannot survive without your continued support. galleries \|\| links directory \|\| profiles \|\| wiki

18th May 2003, 11:16 AM	#4 (permalink)
njw Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: DD1 Posts: 8,124	kj man, is that a true story? please say it is... __________________ You can put a cat in the oven, but that doesn't make it a biscuit.

18th May 2003, 01:03 PM	#6 (permalink)
kj gimp Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Scotland Posts: 13,678 Band: A band of merry men	it is true. i'm trying to remember who sent it to me. __________________ This community cannot survive without your continued support. galleries \|\| links directory \|\| profiles \|\| wiki

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

18th May 2003, 03:09 AM	#2 (permalink)
Misanthropy Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Dundee Posts: 4,101	Hehehe.... The sad thing is, you could imagine it happening

18th May 2003, 10:37 AM	#3 (permalink)
Red_Baron Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Dundee/Alyth hybrid Posts: 1,487 Band: 15 Minutes	PHP is lo grade. He's lucky he wasn't trying the High grade stuff like Coldfusion ( very dangerous ), very dangerous. Although Python crossed with Zope is much more dangerous

18th May 2003, 12:03 PM	#5 (permalink)
shavenkitten Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Keighley, West Yorks , England Posts: 1,606	hahhaahah i actully red that! go on KJ is it true?

18th May 2003, 05:06 PM	#7 (permalink)
shavenkitten Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Keighley, West Yorks , England Posts: 1,606	hahahaha fukin hell!!!

19th May 2003, 12:34 AM	#8 (permalink)
: : Scott : : Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Dundee Posts: 7,126	"function punk_rock(gain,speed) { var punk = gain * speed; return punk }" goodness, thats almost as bad as : "there are 10 types of people in this world... those who get binary and those who dont"