Poem

you · 2nd February 2004, 10:28 PM

Hi i wrote this years ago..it's a bit basic...:

I am, without you

You ask me how im doin',
I tell You that I'm fine,
As i stare through your eyes,
And you look to mine.

You wonder if im lyin,
If it can be true,
I know inside I'm dyin...
You leave the room on cue.

I'm huddled on the floor,
I'm fightin back the tears,
Im starin at the door,
Haunted by my fears.

Thr routine's the same,
I start to shake,
Wonderin if I'm sane,
How long till I break?

I wonder how i lost you,
We used to be so close,
You know you've lost me too,
So i double up my dose.

You dont know me anymore,
Changed beyond recognition,
I'm the pyro on the floor,
And your my ignition.

The few months we lost,
To an unhappy time,
A lifetime in cost,
That lifetime is mine.

I face my problems without you,
Pretendin im coping,
I don't know what to do,
And inside I'm broken.

I accept that it's gone,
Though it hurts it's true,
It's too late...it's done,
I am, Without You

You ask me how I'm doin,
I tell you that I'm fine,
As I stare through your eyes,
And you look to mine.

Starla · 2nd February 2004, 10:38 PM

Poetry is about more than rhyming.

kj · 2nd February 2004, 10:39 PM

thats some emotion words right there. i can feel that for real. The rhyme scheme is tight to. That poem is kinda how i'm feelin right now. Thanks for sharing

Starla, youre right, poetry is more than just rhyming, but didnt you feel anything when you read that?

you · 3rd February 2004, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starla

Poetry is about more than rhyming.

I know, but it wasn't a totally long thought out thing, and poetry don't come 2 easy 2 me....it was just a way of gettin out anger

Starla · 4th February 2004, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kj

Starla, youre right, poetry is more than just rhyming, but didnt you feel anything when you read that?

Nothing much. I find it hard to take anything with such a rigid/awkward rhyme scheme seriously. I'm a complete poetry snob I'm afraid.

ana_saba · 4th February 2004, 10:20 PM

I've only started to read more poetry without a rhyming scheme recently - though i'm still a sucker for words that sound the same at the end of lines, especially in my own stuff - old habits die hard.

lalala · 5th February 2004, 10:02 PM

i agree that poetry is about more than just ryhming and this poem is more than just ryhming. the fact that it does rhymes doesnt take the feeling out of it or make it any less intelligent, or for that fact make the person that wrote it anyless intelligent.

ana_saba · 5th February 2004, 10:10 PM

there seems to be a lot of poets apprearing these days

can only be a good thing

2nd February 2004, 10:28 PM	#1 (permalink)
you Registered User Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 2	Poem Hi i wrote this years ago..it's a bit basic...: I am, without you You ask me how im doin', I tell You that I'm fine, As i stare through your eyes, And you look to mine. You wonder if im lyin, If it can be true, I know inside I'm dyin... You leave the room on cue. I'm huddled on the floor, I'm fightin back the tears, Im starin at the door, Haunted by my fears. Thr routine's the same, I start to shake, Wonderin if I'm sane, How long till I break? I wonder how i lost you, We used to be so close, You know you've lost me too, So i double up my dose. You dont know me anymore, Changed beyond recognition, I'm the pyro on the floor, And your my ignition. The few months we lost, To an unhappy time, A lifetime in cost, That lifetime is mine. I face my problems without you, Pretendin im coping, I don't know what to do, And inside I'm broken. I accept that it's gone, Though it hurts it's true, It's too late...it's done, I am, Without You You ask me how I'm doin, I tell you that I'm fine, As I stare through your eyes, And you look to mine.

2nd February 2004, 10:39 PM	#3 (permalink)
kj gimp Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Scotland Posts: 13,935 Band: A band of merry men	thats some emotion words right there. i can feel that for real. The rhyme scheme is tight to. That poem is kinda how i'm feelin right now. Thanks for sharing Starla, youre right, poetry is more than just rhyming, but didnt you feel anything when you read that? __________________ This community cannot survive without your continued support. galleries \|\| links directory \|\| profiles \|\| wiki

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2nd February 2004, 10:38 PM	#2 (permalink)
Starla Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Dundee... I mean, Glasgow Posts: 2,065	Poetry is about more than rhyming.

4th February 2004, 10:20 PM	#6 (permalink)
ana_saba Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: motherhell, near glasgow Posts: 1,209	I've only started to read more poetry without a rhyming scheme recently - though i'm still a sucker for words that sound the same at the end of lines, especially in my own stuff - old habits die hard.

5th February 2004, 10:02 PM	#7 (permalink)
lalala Registered User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: dundee Posts: 2	i agree that poetry is about more than just ryhming and this poem is more than just ryhming. the fact that it does rhymes doesnt take the feeling out of it or make it any less intelligent, or for that fact make the person that wrote it anyless intelligent.

5th February 2004, 10:10 PM	#8 (permalink)
ana_saba Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: motherhell, near glasgow Posts: 1,209	there seems to be a lot of poets apprearing these days can only be a good thing