Write propper metal song - Page 3

samuraisloth · 29th June 2006, 09:35 PM

ahahhaha this thread is absolute qual -ITY

Slaughtercult · 13th July 2006, 10:10 PM

*Sound of motorcycle revving loudly... screechin of tyres....*

*Big mountainous gleaming hot power chord is struck here & held for a few minutes*

"Half past four & I just finished work, I'm free at last,
Out on the road now, wind in my hair, old ladies die as i ride past,

As i blaze my trail i check the time, it's quarter to five,
I shift up a gear & accelerate, down onto riverside drive!

The gauge hits 80 miles per hour, i'm starting to fly
I look up & its there in front of me, the giant Tesco sign!

CHORUS
I'm a heavy metal shopper! And I ride a chopper!
I gotta get, my groceries or i'll come a cropper!! (thats right)

Pull into the parking lot, i see some kiddies stare,
I take off my wrapround shades & give them an evil glare!

Striding forth with my basket of steel, up & down the aisles,
The journey to the frozen section always seems like miles!

Repeat Chorus

BRIDGE (complete with acoustic guitar part playing the tesco tune in a ballad style)

Standing... at the checkouts...
All the ladies stare....
It's nothing new.... they're all amazed
By the condition of my shiny hair!

BREAK
(and the enormous bulge in my LEEEAATTTHHEEERRSS)

Back on the bike it's time to go home, my quest is almost done,
after my tea perhaps for supper, i'll have some hot cross BUUUNNNSSS!!!

*worlds fastest recorded version of the tesco tune played by a symphony orchestra as an outro*

And yes this is based on a true story and yes the bike in question is Tesco Value and has blue an white stripes as are the socks stuffed into the crotch of the leathers. No animals were harmed in the making of this song except for the fat beast whose ass cheeks the motorcycle front wheel was parked between.

No responsibility will be taken for any images conjured up due to reading these lyrics.

Copyright Of Dave Phillips. Don't steal it you dirt Asda shopping gypo basses. <---- plural of "bas" ie. "ya bas"

Thank you for watching.

evilpixielady · 14th July 2006, 08:54 AM

Like it! Better watch or Tesco will be at your door trying to buy this for their ads. Food shopping = \m/ Hehehe!

Rich · 14th July 2006, 01:21 PM

vivouk · 14th July 2006, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slaughtercult

Awesome song

Slaughtercult · 14th July 2006, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vivouk

Cheers muchly.

samuraisloth · 14th July 2006, 04:25 PM

i actually sometimes wonder about you david

you should try to remember the song about sandshoes in a bin or something

Slaughtercult · 14th July 2006, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samuraisloth

i actually sometimes wonder about you david

you should try to remember the song about sandshoes in a bin or something

What ever do you mean? There's nothin weird about that song!

You mean the song about Gav kung fu'ing the neds that try to steal his sannie dappers? i doubt if i'll ever remember that masterpiece.

samuraisloth · 14th July 2006, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slaughtercult

What ever do you mean? There's nothin weird about that song!

You mean the song about Gav kung fu'ing the neds that try to steal his sannie dappers? i doubt if i'll ever remember that masterpiece.

aye thats the one

twas a classic...you should have kept them

13th July 2006, 10:10 PM	#33 (permalink)
Slaughtercult Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Dundee Posts: 1,168 Band: 3rd Born Sun	Sound of motorcycle revving loudly... screechin of tyres.... Big mountainous gleaming hot power chord is struck here & held for a few minutes "Half past four & I just finished work, I'm free at last, Out on the road now, wind in my hair, old ladies die as i ride past, As i blaze my trail i check the time, it's quarter to five, I shift up a gear & accelerate, down onto riverside drive! The gauge hits 80 miles per hour, i'm starting to fly I look up & its there in front of me, the giant Tesco sign! CHORUS I'm a heavy metal shopper! And I ride a chopper! I gotta get, my groceries or i'll come a cropper!! (thats right) Pull into the parking lot, i see some kiddies stare, I take off my wrapround shades & give them an evil glare! Striding forth with my basket of steel, up & down the aisles, The journey to the frozen section always seems like miles! Repeat Chorus BRIDGE (complete with acoustic guitar part playing the tesco tune in a ballad style) Standing... at the checkouts... All the ladies stare.... It's nothing new.... they're all amazed By the condition of my shiny hair! BREAK (and the enormous bulge in my LEEEAATTTHHEEERRSS) Back on the bike it's time to go home, my quest is almost done, after my tea perhaps for supper, i'll have some hot cross BUUUNNNSSS!!! worlds fastest recorded version of the tesco tune played by a symphony orchestra as an outro And yes this is based on a true story and yes the bike in question is Tesco Value and has blue an white stripes as are the socks stuffed into the crotch of the leathers. No animals were harmed in the making of this song except for the fat beast whose ass cheeks the motorcycle front wheel was parked between. No responsibility will be taken for any images conjured up due to reading these lyrics. Copyright Of Dave Phillips. Don't steal it you dirt Asda shopping gypo basses. <---- plural of "bas" ie. "ya bas" Thank you for watching. Last edited by Slaughtercult : 13th July 2006 at 10:21 PM.

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29th June 2006, 07:44 PM	#31 (permalink)
vivouk Registered User Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 352

29th June 2006, 09:35 PM	#32 (permalink)
samuraisloth Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: viva las dundee Posts: 2,426 Band: spam purse...given we are still to unite properly	ahahhaha this thread is absolute qual -ITY

14th July 2006, 08:54 AM	#34 (permalink)
evilpixielady Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Dundee Posts: 276	Like it! Better watch or Tesco will be at your door trying to buy this for their ads. Food shopping = \m/ Hehehe!

14th July 2006, 01:21 PM	#35 (permalink)
Rich Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Edinburgh Posts: 3,559 Band: Action Man Bowtie

14th July 2006, 04:25 PM	#38 (permalink)
samuraisloth Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: viva las dundee Posts: 2,426 Band: spam purse...given we are still to unite properly	i actually sometimes wonder about you david you should try to remember the song about sandshoes in a bin or something