tales from tesco... part one. - Page 2

Friend of a Friend · 30th October 2003, 05:34 PM

There's a mental woman at my college who was going around collecting spent matches and telling everyone how she can light her fags with them, saving them in a box and showing everyone. She thought she was so intelligent cos she was finding a free way to light her fags, I'd love o have been there when she tried.

SuperMike! · 30th October 2003, 06:19 PM

When i used to work in Woolies in Perth, loads of people would come up to the till and just go "do you work here?" or "oh, i didn't think you were workin".

Fuck sake.

I got up every saturday and put on a green shirt and shitty tie and served people for a fucking laugh. Sure.

People who come in or phone up looking for a job but then go blank/get upset when you suggest they hand in a CV. They have clearly never heard of such a thing.

It's always fun to bust sholifters or watch them get busted, they're usually pathetic snivelling shits.

The neds in Edinburgh who used to try and steal the tills from the shop I worked in always used to amuse me.

These are more pet hates though.

There was always the supervisor who got sacked for wanking in the stockroom, all taped on a hidden camera...

Laura* · 30th October 2003, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gav_revolt

theres a tiny old lady that comes into my work. she is completely unintelligable.

lady: "gtijss huh nern huh ner"
me: "sorry, i have no idea what you're saying"

i tend to just leave it at that. its a total shame but theres no way i coulda known what she was on about. same old lady started shouting weird abuse at a guy me and walker were standing with the other week, she was even stopping ppl to shout at them when we'd done nothing.

thats Ruby.....dont ask how i found out her name but she particularly likes to pick on me and my friends.....i even saw her start to chase some little girl down the street cos she looked at her funny or something

Friend of a Friend · 30th October 2003, 07:57 PM

Thats no fair I never saw her in Dundee, I love mental folk. How about the mental busker dude who only knows one chord? Anyone know who I mean, not the one who growls at toflk but there used to be a gay who would strum one chord, sing a line, then strum again, sing a lone and so on, for about 3 hours a day! I think his guitar had no strap, which was odd for a busker who liked to dance.

Laura* · 30th October 2003, 08:00 PM

argh! god he scares me......he always raaarrrs at me.....
and little ruby is always sleeping on the couches in the overgate

Friend of a Friend · 30th October 2003, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StRaNgEsT_AnGeL

argh! god he scares me......he always raaarrrs at me.....
and little ruby is always sleeping on the couches in the overgate

I said NOT the guy who growls at folk, well I actually said "not the one who growls at toflk" but u know what I meant

Abi · 30th October 2003, 08:04 PM

I work at Tesco's doing the reductions.
At about 8.30 EVERY night, these two little old ladies, ones about 60, the other is about 80ish and has a really thick irish accent and a gingery-red wig!
They come and follow me aroud, trying to get me to reduce their stuff even cheaper! They're dead freaky!
They know exactly which nights I work, and question me, if i have a day off!
They know me by name, and even stop me in the streets to chat!
Also the little Irish one, keeps bringing me anti-wrinkle cream! I'm too young for wrinkles!!!!

Laura* · 30th October 2003, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Friend of a Friend

I said NOT the guy who growls at folk, well I actually said "not the one who growls at toflk" but u know what I meant

ahh i sees....i thought u said "the one whole growls at toflk"

jaded_wreckless · 30th October 2003, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StRaNgEsT_AnGeL

thats Ruby.....dont ask how i found out her name but she particularly likes to pick on me and my friends.....i even saw her start to chase some little girl down the street cos she looked at her funny or something

Yeah!!!!! I were just gonna say that!!!! Its Ruby! She is horrible Nasty bitch she is, she hates everyone, spesh me bleh, its hell at lunchtime, she sees un in our uniforms and chases us into shops and stuff swearing, she nicked someones bus money once! Lol

Jo Jo · 30th October 2003, 09:37 PM

My brother worked in a shop and an old lady used to come in and ask him to speak really loud cos she couldn't hear due to her just getting her cataracts done.

My sister works in a supermarket and one night some wee ned came in and stole a bunch of electric toothbrushes and when she was leaving for the night he was standing outside and asked her if she wanted to buy one.

Don't you just love the public?

Flaming Toilet Bag · 30th October 2003, 09:48 PM

When I worked in social work department in arbroath:

Me: "good morning, social work department"
Customer: "oh right thanks, bye"

Classic.

Also:

Customer: "is that safeway?"
Me: "no, this is the social work department sorry"
Customer: "oh right, put me through to safeway then - my wife needs pampers delivered"
Me: "sorry sir, I'm not a switchboard"
Customer: "you just said you were a switchboard"
Me: "no, I just said this was the social work department"
Customer: "are you being cheeky?"
Me: "no, I'm just telling you that this is the social work department"
Customer: "sounds like cheek to me"
*silence*
Me: "I recommend that you phone directory enquiries"
Customer: "fuck that, I'm phoning the police - you cunt"

lovely, he probably should've phoned the social work department.

chewlip · 30th October 2003, 09:49 PM

hehehehehehe scotland sounds like a lovely place.

{valentine*} · 30th October 2003, 09:51 PM

I was in claires, innocently looking around for black fairy wings, when this lady came up and goes...

Lady: How much are these?

Me: No idea.

Lady: Do you work here?

Me: No.

Lady: Do you sell cat ears?

Me: Wouldn't know, why don't you ask somebody who works here?

Lady: Do you not work here?

Me: No.

Lady: Oh...

Then 5 minutes later the same lady comes up to me and asks if we sell cirby grips. The conversation went pretty much like the first one.

Flaming Toilet Bag · 30th October 2003, 09:52 PM

oh also, my friend kevin's mum is a doctor, and one day a client wanders in:

Patient: "hi, I'm here for my brother's colonic irrigation"
....................................
Doctor: "you're what?"
Patient: "I'm here for my brother's colonic irrigation"
....................................
Doctor: "why?"
Patient: "because he's at home ill"
Doctor: "but, you can't take a colonic irrigation for him - how would that benefit him?"
Patient: "I can...can't I?"

apparently it took about her about 10 minutes to explain why this wouldn't work to this neddish fuckbudgie.

30th October 2003, 05:34 PM	#16 (permalink)
Friend of a Friend Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Miles away Posts: 1,440	There's a mental woman at my college who was going around collecting spent matches and telling everyone how she can light her fags with them, saving them in a box and showing everyone. She thought she was so intelligent cos she was finding a free way to light her fags, I'd love o have been there when she tried.

30th October 2003, 06:19 PM	#17 (permalink)
SuperMike! Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Dundee Posts: 3,322 Band: The A Forest. Kaput.	When i used to work in Woolies in Perth, loads of people would come up to the till and just go "do you work here?" or "oh, i didn't think you were workin". Fuck sake. I got up every saturday and put on a green shirt and shitty tie and served people for a fucking laugh. Sure. People who come in or phone up looking for a job but then go blank/get upset when you suggest they hand in a CV. They have clearly never heard of such a thing. It's always fun to bust sholifters or watch them get busted, they're usually pathetic snivelling shits. The neds in Edinburgh who used to try and steal the tills from the shop I worked in always used to amuse me. These are more pet hates though. There was always the supervisor who got sacked for wanking in the stockroom, all taped on a hidden camera...

30th October 2003, 07:57 PM	#19 (permalink)
Friend of a Friend Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Miles away Posts: 1,440	Thats no fair I never saw her in Dundee, I love mental folk. How about the mental busker dude who only knows one chord? Anyone know who I mean, not the one who growls at toflk but there used to be a gay who would strum one chord, sing a line, then strum again, sing a lone and so on, for about 3 hours a day! I think his guitar had no strap, which was odd for a busker who liked to dance.

30th October 2003, 08:00 PM	#20 (permalink)
Laura* dancetotheradio Join Date: May 2003 Location: Dundee. Posts: 4,313	argh! god he scares me......he always raaarrrs at me..... and little ruby is always sleeping on the couches in the overgate

30th October 2003, 08:04 PM	#22 (permalink)
Abi Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Edinburgh and Dundee. Posts: 932	I work at Tesco's doing the reductions. At about 8.30 EVERY night, these two little old ladies, ones about 60, the other is about 80ish and has a really thick irish accent and a gingery-red wig! They come and follow me aroud, trying to get me to reduce their stuff even cheaper! They're dead freaky! They know exactly which nights I work, and question me, if i have a day off! They know me by name, and even stop me in the streets to chat! Also the little Irish one, keeps bringing me anti-wrinkle cream! I'm too young for wrinkles!!!!

30th October 2003, 09:37 PM	#25 (permalink)
Jo Jo DANG!!! Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: between Iraq and a hard place Posts: 3,297	My brother worked in a shop and an old lady used to come in and ask him to speak really loud cos she couldn't hear due to her just getting her cataracts done. My sister works in a supermarket and one night some wee ned came in and stole a bunch of electric toothbrushes and when she was leaving for the night he was standing outside and asked her if she wanted to buy one. Don't you just love the public?

30th October 2003, 09:48 PM	#26 (permalink)
Flaming Toilet Bag Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Gone. Posts: 2,537	When I worked in social work department in arbroath: Me: "good morning, social work department" Customer: "oh right thanks, bye" Classic. Also: Customer: "is that safeway?" Me: "no, this is the social work department sorry" Customer: "oh right, put me through to safeway then - my wife needs pampers delivered" Me: "sorry sir, I'm not a switchboard" Customer: "you just said you were a switchboard" Me: "no, I just said this was the social work department" Customer: "are you being cheeky?" Me: "no, I'm just telling you that this is the social work department" Customer: "sounds like cheek to me" silence Me: "I recommend that you phone directory enquiries" Customer: "fuck that, I'm phoning the police - you cunt" lovely, he probably should've phoned the social work department.

30th October 2003, 09:49 PM	#27 (permalink)
chewlip Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: oxford, england Posts: 834	hehehehehehe scotland sounds like a lovely place.

30th October 2003, 09:51 PM	#28 (permalink)
{valentine*} everybody needs somebody Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dundee Posts: 4,198	I was in claires, innocently looking around for black fairy wings, when this lady came up and goes... Lady: How much are these? Me: No idea. Lady: Do you work here? Me: No. Lady: Do you sell cat ears? Me: Wouldn't know, why don't you ask somebody who works here? Lady: Do you not work here? Me: No. Lady: Oh... Then 5 minutes later the same lady comes up to me and asks if we sell cirby grips. The conversation went pretty much like the first one.

30th October 2003, 09:52 PM	#29 (permalink)
Flaming Toilet Bag Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Gone. Posts: 2,537	oh also, my friend kevin's mum is a doctor, and one day a client wanders in: Patient: "hi, I'm here for my brother's colonic irrigation" .................................... Doctor: "you're what?" Patient: "I'm here for my brother's colonic irrigation" .................................... Doctor: "why?" Patient: "because he's at home ill" Doctor: "but, you can't take a colonic irrigation for him - how would that benefit him?" Patient: "I can...can't I?" apparently it took about her about 10 minutes to explain why this wouldn't work to this neddish fuckbudgie.