Song Parodies

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Star Wars Cantina
Parody of "Copacabana" by Barry Manilow
SPOKEN: Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.

Her name was Leia,
She was a princess,
With a danish on each ear,
And Darth Vader drawing near.
So R2-D2,
Found Ben Kenobi,
He'd have to put the Death Star plans,
Into the rebellion's hands.
So Luke and Obi-Wan,
Had to get to Alderaan,
So they stopped into Mos Eisley to have a drink with Han.

At the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina,
The weirdest creatures you've ever seen-a,
Here at the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina,
Music and blasters,
And old Jedi masters,
At the Star Wars...

His name was Solo,
He was a pilot,
With a blaster at his side,
And a smile 12 parsecs wide.
There with Chewbacca,
He was a Wookie.
They met with Luke and Obi-Wan,
About the Millenium Falcon.
Docking bay ninety-four,
Stormtroopers at the door,
With a flash of Ben's light-saber, now there's an arm on the floor.

SPOKEN: Mos Eisley spaceport... you will never find the more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.

At the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina,
The weirdest creatures you've ever seen-a,
Here at the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina,
Music and blasters,
And old Jedi masters,
At the Star Wars...

His name was Yoda,
He was a muppet.
Darth Vader was so bad,
And by the way, he's Luke's dad.
Luke kissed his sister,
His hand got cut off.
In that galaxy far, far away,
Luke has had a lousy day.
Boba Fett was so mean,
Jabba had bad hygiene,
Why didn't they all just relax back on Tatooine?

At the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina,
The weirdest creatures you've ever seen-a,
Here at the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina,
Music and blasters,
And old Jedi masters,
At the Star Wars...

SPOKEN: The force will be with you...always.

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ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT

Use, use, use the force,
Trust me, Luke, it's neato,
Listen to Ben,
He'll tell you when,
To launch your torpedo.



POP GOES THE WEASEL

I love the Star Wars movies,
A trio without equal,
And now it's time for Episode One,
Pop goes the prequel.



JINGLE BELLS

Jar-Jar Binks,
Jar-Jar Binks,
His floppy ears are giant,
They rendered 'im,
With a Pentium,
Let's hope he's Y2K compliant.

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Punk inspired parody (from 'Not the Nine 'o clock News' 1981)

I live on the fourteenth floor,
Of a tower block, and when I get bored,
I call coo-ee to the passers by,
And when they look up, I gob in their eye.

Come on, yeah,
'Cause I hate your guts!
Come on, yeah,
Kick you in the nuts!
Come on, yeah,
You're a stupid old git!
Come on, yeah,
'Cause you're full of shit!

I go out west every night,
Go down to the pub and look for a fight.
I have ten lagers, then I have ten more,
Then I jump up and down, and I'm sick on the floor.

Come on, yeah,
'Cause your hands are cold!
Come on, yeah,
'Cause you're far too old!
Come on, yeah,
'Cause you're a stupid old straight!
Gob! Gob! Gob! Gob! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate!

Sex is boring, pain is fun,
I wanna cut my fingers off, one by one,
There ain't no point in staying alive,
I wanna be dead when I'm 25.

Come on, yeah,
'Cause your hair's too long!
Come on, yeah,
'Cause you're never wrong!
Come on, yeah,
In your Oxbridge coat!
Come on, yeah,
You're the National Front!

Come on, yeah,
'Cause you're well-insured!
Come on, yeah,
'Cause I'm young and bored!
Come on, yeah,
'Cause you talk about art!
Come on, yeah,

[Jo Jo]

I had to go all the way thorugh Girlies to find these (so some of you will have already seen these), but here they are....





I WILL SURVIVE - GLORIA GAYNOR'S FAMOUS SONG

MALE VERSION

First I was afraid I was petrified
At the ugly slapper that was lying by my side
I would've drunk a little less, I would've tried to keep my head.
If I'd known for just one second you'd assault me in your bed?
I tried to go, walk out the door
But you've been sitting on my legs and I can't feel them anymore
And now you're sitting on my face, my nose has vanished - not a trace,
I only hope that your big knickers aren't made of liquorice lace
I want to go, I've got to leave
Before your fat and naked body makes me want to heave
Only hope that no one saw me walking home with such a slut.
God the things that you get up to when you're half cut.
Please let me go, I'm getting scared
There's nothing I can do to stop those ugly breasts from being bared.
I think that I must have been mad,
God what made me want to court her?
With t*ts that look like Tesco bags I've just filled up with water
It's time to go, run out the door
She's started hinting she wants sex on her dirty lino floor
I don't think there's anything worse than the al-co-hol-ics curse.
I WILL SURVIVE !

To which the girls reply.........

FEMALE VERSION

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
By the ugly w***er that was lying by my side.
I would've drunk a little less, I would've tried to keep my head,
If I'd know for just one second I'd be in your crusty bed...
I tried to go, walk out the door.
But I laughed so hard at your small knob that I've fallen on the floor.
Your butts a pimply mess, it's just a broken-out disgrace,
But I'd rather look at that, than at your F###ing ugly face...!
I want to go, I've got to leave.
Your talk of chicks and football really makes me want to heave.
I only know I've got to stop my drinking spirits and the beer
Coz when I looked at you last night, you looked just like Richard Gere !

Please let me go, I feel quite sick,
We had the worst sex in the world and you're an ugly p**ck
I should have shagged your gorgeous mate, at least he's got a lovely
flat
But no I go and trust the booze and now I'm stuck with you, you tw*t.
It's time to go, run out the door.
You look so ugly it should really be against the law.
I'm going to give up all the booze, I'm going to have no stupid fun
Coz waking up beside your mug, just makes me want to be a nun !
I WILL SURVIVE!!


The Glaswegian Rhapsody

(sung to Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody)

Is this the real life, is it the methadone? Stuck in the Gorbals,
two bob fur the telephone? Open yer wine an' talk wi' a whine like
meeeee... Am just a weeji, gie us yer Sunny D. Cos I'll chib yer
pal, rip yer Da; Slash yer dug, r1de yer Maw! Any way the Clyde
flows, Disnae really metter tae me... tae meeeee...

Haw Maw, just chibbed some bam, Buckie bottle tae the heid, Noo the
fuck1n' bastard's deid! Haw Maw, Um just oan parole, An noo I'm
headin back tae Barlineeeee... Haw Maw, ooh ooh-ooh ohh, Never meant
tae steal yer purse, But if I'm no fu' o' smack this time the
morra'. Kerry oot, kerry oot! An we'll go oot oan the batter!

Too late, the bailiff's here, Sends shivers doon ma spine, Gubbed 10
jellies just in time. Goodbye all ma muckers, I've got tae go, Got
tae go and rip some wank fae up the scheme. Haw Maw, ooh ohh-ooh ooh
I'm such a jakey bam, I sometimes think I've never been washed at
all...

I see a little silhouetto of a bam, Adidas! Adidas! Can ye get us a
kergo? Thunderbird, White Lightning, very very fright'ning to me !
Twenty Mayfair, (twenty mayfair) Twenty Mayfair, (twenty mayfair)
Twenty Mayfair and some skins, Magnifico oh oh oh oh! I'm just a fat
boy, nae body loves me, He's just a fat boy fae a fat family! Spare
us a pound fur a wee cup o tea? Get tae fuck, skanky slob, will ye
get a job? For fucksake, No! I will no' get a job! - Get a job! For
fucksake, I will no' get a job! - Get a job! For fucksake, Will you
get a job! - Get a job! Will no' get a job, get a job! Will no' get
a job, get a job! No, no, no, no, no, no... Oh gonorrhoea!
gonorrhoea! Gonorrhoea and the clap! Then doon the pub, has the
barman put aside for me? For me, for me, for meeeee!?

So you 'hink you can slash me and pish in my eye? So ye 'hink ye can
chib me an' leave me to die? Haw bawbag, can't dae this tae me
bawbag! Just wait till I'm oot, wait till I'm right oot ma nut! Fuck
all really matters; any one can see, Fcuk all really matters, fuck
all really matters tae me!

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The Curry Song (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)


Is this a Bhuna?
Or is this a Jalfrezi?
Mixed up my order,
They all look the same to me
open your gob,
Just swallow a forkful and see.
I'm just a student,
Need something real cheap to eat
because I'm stoney broke,
Not a bean.
Don't remember
The menu I've seen,
Korma, Saag or Madras
Doesn't really matter to me
To me...

(piano bit here)

Naan-aa, just killed a man
Poppadom against his head
Had lime pickle now he's dead.
Naan-aa, dinner just begun
But now I'm going to crap it all away.
Naan-aa, ooh-ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry,
Seen nothin' yet just see the loo tomorrow,
Curry on, curry on,
'cause nothing really madras.

Too late, my dinner's gone
Sends shivers up my spine
Rectum aching all the time.
Goodbye every bhaji, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo.
Naan-aa, ooh ooh,
This Dopiaza's mild,
Sometimes wish we'd never come here at all.

I see a little chicken
tikka on the side,
Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh pass the chutney made of mango.
Vindaloo does very nicely
Nery very spicey
ME!
Biryani (Biryani)
Biryani (Biryani)
Biryani and a naan
O Vindaloooooooo

I've eaten balti, somebody help me
He's eaten balti, get him to a lavatory
Stand well back; this loo's quarantined.
Here it comes,
There it goes technicolour yawn
I chunder
No!
It's coming up again
(There he goes)
I chunder
It's coming up again
(There he goes)
I chunder
It's coming up again
Up again
Here it comes again,
Here it comes again,
Here it comes again,
Here it comes again.
This vindaloo is about to wreck my guts
Poor me... Poor me... Poor me!

(Wayne's World head banging bit)

So you think you can chunder and think it's alright?
So you think you can eat curry and drink all night?
Ohh maybe, now you'll puke like a baby, just had to come out,
Just had to come right out in here...
Korma, saag or bhuna,
Balti, naan or bhaji
Nothing makes a difference to me
To me.

[The_Mechanix]

weird al - a complicated song (avril parody)
this song gave me sore as fuck ribs first time i heard it.

Uh huh, uh huh ... extra cheese
Uh huh, uh huh ... save a piece for me

Pizza party at your house
I went just to check it out
Nineteen extra larges
What a shame
No one came

Just us eatin' all alone
You said, "Take the pizza home"
"No sense lettin' all this go to waste"
So then I faced

Pizza all day
And every day
This cheese 'round the clock
Is gettin' me blocked
And I sure don't care
For irregularity

Tell me
Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?
'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated
In the bathroom ... I sit and I wait and I strain
And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?
No no no

I was feelin' pretty down
'Till my girlfriend came around
We're just so alike in every way
I gotta say

In fact, I just thought I might
Pop the question there that night
I was kissing her so tenderly
But woe is me

Who would have guessed
Her family crest
I'd suddely spy
Tattooed on her thigh
And son-of-a-gun
It's just like the one on me

Tell me
How was I supposed to know we were both related?
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated
What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose
And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes
And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?
No no no no no no no
No no no no no no no
No no no no no

I had so much on my mind
I thought maybe I'd unwind
Try out that new roller coaster ride
And the guide

Said not to stand
But that's a demand
That I couldn't meet
I got on my feet
And stood up instead
And knocked off my head, you see

Tell me
Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?
This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it
Such a drag, now ... Can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore
I can't belch or yodel anymore
Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated

Oh no
Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (yeah, yeah)
I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated
What a bummer
Can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeeze
But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now
Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated
No no no

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now this is an old thread to ressurrect.

Good man