What a clever bastard eh?

[Johnny]

This question was part of a University of Washington Chemistry mid term. The clever cunt who gave this answer was the only person to get an 'A'


Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, Let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year, "....that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you",

and

take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having an affair with her, then #2 above cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze over."

This man recieved the only "A" in the class

[Tommy Sports]

bollocks, that's not real.

pretty funny though

[Bobsy]

that'd be classic if it was real like,

[Johnny]

It is real.
Why wouldn't someone write something like that? It was a bonus question, I used to do it all the time in exams. Only not as cleverly.
I'd write about pirates and stuff.

[Garywag]

i tried that once in my Bus Man exam.. went on about how much of a tube Howard from the Halifax/BOS adverts is to be a smart arse when writing about bad advertisment... but i failed

[Chosenreject]

ouch, ive been trying to read that passage with a current hangover, not a wise thing to do. Think i might lie down for a while.

[Lindsay]

i would give that an a. maybe not on the basis that it's on topic, but on the fact it shows intelligence + clever thinking + therefore he deserves to be awarded. probably not real though.

[Johnny]

Can everyone explain why they think it's not real?
I don't see anything to suggest it isn't real.

[AlanG]

its more to do with the fact its been going round the net for years mutating between different unis as the source each time. Its an urban legend. Its always been a physics student thats sat it though, mainly due to the topic being about physics and not chemistry.

thats why it appears to not be real.

[Ally G]

where did you get it from?

[AlanG]

Snopes has a thing about its origin.

[Lindsay]

i an convinced that alan g knows everything about everything ever.

[gord]

i think the SQA must have my Geography higher from Fifth year framed in their head office or something. Our assistant head said to me at the time:

"In 25 years of teaching, never, not once, has anyone so blatantly made a mockery of an examination in the way that you have"

[Lindsay]

what did you do?

[gord]

well the exam started well, i knew the first few questions. then came two