Masturbation

[glittery_cath]

Originally Posted by p4rk3r

i would but its a bit more complicated than that.
when i was finished i went to go to the toilet, only to hear the buzzing of a bean. at which point i returned to the bedroom slightly depressed. when she came back into the room she noticed that i wasn't wearing my belt anymore and she said "oh, have you just had a wank?" to which i replied "yes"
so she knows i had a wank but she doesn't know that i know that she had one. so if i tell her she doesn't need to leave next time, she'll know i heard her and it'll be weird because she never told me when she realised that i had been having one.










that is possibly the most childish post ive ever written/seen so im keeping it exactly the way it is.

Aww, just tell her, I'm sure she'd appreciate you being forward Sounds like you need a bit of excitement in the bedroom department and talking about stuff like that is a good way to start.

Not that I'm an expert on stuff like that. But......yeah.....

[Jo Jo]

Originally Posted by p4rk3r

something really depressing just happened.
i was having a wank when the bird went out of the room, only to find she'd gone out of the room to have one herself
we used to have loads of sex
anybody got any tips?

maybe it's cos you call her 'the bird'

[jonny_spaceman]

interesting fact...luke (not your saviour/spaceman lance) once beat off in disney world. in a shower cubicle at one of the water parks. he came out after getting changed with this giant grin on his face and said "dude...i just wanked in disney world...but i didnt shoot my load so its ok". he's a weird one.

[Filthy Ritch]

Originally Posted by jonny_spaceman

interesting fact...luke (not your saviour/spaceman lance) once beat off in disney world. in a shower cubicle at one of the water parks. he came out after getting changed with this giant grin on his face and said "dude...i just wanked in disney world...but i didnt shoot my load so its ok". he's a weird one.

hahahaha fucken brilliant.

i got off with minnie mouse,if i had shot my load on her that would have been legendary.

[p4rk3r]

Originally Posted by Jo Jo

maybe it's cos you call her 'the bird'

hmm yeah

[krashd]

Originally Posted by Jo Jo

maybe it's cos you call her 'the bird'

I was gonna agree with that, seems Bints don't like getting called Birds :/

[DJisghetto]

Call her your wench, if she's piratey she'll probably like it.

[Starla]

Originally Posted by DJisghetto

Call her your wench, if she's piratey she'll probably like it.

*amused*

[p4rk3r]

Originally Posted by p4rk3r

hmm yeah

I got called sexist for this?! wtf?
I call my bird loads of things and all are intended in good humour, i would call her "the bird" or "the wife" and the reaction it would get would be a smile COS ITS IN FUN. Some women must have a pretty low opinion of themselves if they are so offended by the word bird, wether it was or was not intended as a joke.
btw whover heard of havin a pc in the kitchen

[Filthy Ritch]

Originally Posted by p4rk3r

I got called sexist for this?! wtf?
I call my bird loads of things and all are intended in good humour, i would call her "the bird" or "the wife" and the reaction it would get would be a smile COS ITS IN FUN. Some women must have a pretty low opinion of themselves if they are so offended by the word bird, wether it was or was not intended as a joke.
btw whover heard of havin a pc in the kitchen

i completely agree with u there matey,its all in good humour.a girl with no sense of humour,is an ugly girl.

[DJisghetto]

that being said, pretty girls tend to be horrible pieces of cardboard, for the most part. I used to go out with a girl who got upset with me when i didn't laugh at her shitty jokes about poo.

I'm aware of the pun