5 mates all blokes have.

[BottletopHearts]

According to More magazine, these are the 5 mates all blokes have:

1. Dave. They all have a mate called Dave, who lives down the pub.

2. The Gay One. That he's never actually told you is gay cos, "He's not gay. I'd know if he was."

3. The One He Can Talk To. Who only comes out in times of girl trauma.

4. The Older Pub Mate. He thinks he's cool cos he's, like, a proper grown up and drinks bitter.

5. The Cool Female One. She's cooler than him and he goes all funny around her. But he doesn't fancy her, oh no.

[Gemo]

Originally Posted by BottletopHearts

According to More magazine,

Dont listen to that magazine, it went downhill years ago when they started repeating the sex positions.

[humndislocation]

Women's magazines are fucking retarded, and an insult to the intelligence of the female gender.

Waiting in the queue in the sandwich shop, I can see the covers of them, where you can see such fantastically retarded stories as "My dead husband came to visit me", "Hypnotism cured me of cancer (attention I am fucking retarded and think that correlation = causation lol)", and "I was an egyptian in a past life, also I had feelings and emotions and probably a dead husband that visited me, and told me how to cure my cancer with hypnotism"

Also, don't forget "massive sweeping statement about the male gender that is always true ok", and "10 tips for how to keep your pet man entertained when you go drag him out on a really boring shopping trip. HURRR let him look at powertools to make up for trying on 100 dresses and asking his opinion, because all men are easily entertained by looking at powertools"

And then there's the fantastic story of "I am a fucking retard that missed my period for 9 months and then was really surprised when I went to the doctor at the end of it, and a baby fell out lol"

[Afro Joe]

"Chantelle's top ten tips on how to become a celebrity, even you ugly fuckers can make it on tv!"

[humndislocation]

10 tips for amazing sex! You will already know all of these, since it's the same 10 tips that have been posted every week in every woman's magazine since the beginning of time.

Also, they will be really obvious things that anyone with half a brain could have figured out themselves.

[Gemo]

The worst is when they have celebrity diets, its just all fucking common sense. I'll also help that the celebs can afford a personal trainer, but forget that, its the special diet that made them lose weight. pah.

[RussellOrGoose]

i know a few Daves but never see them in pub.
i do have older pub mate.
but none of others.

More magazine is comedy really.
my sister used to get it when she was like 17/18 and there's always some at dentists etc.

Nothing on male mags like FHM and Loaded,class ahead.

[Tommy Sports]

I read a magazine called 'reveal' the other day (coursework, not pleasure). Did you know that if you eat nothing but 3 cups of soup, 6 almonds and half a mango a day you'll lose weight?

[humndislocation]

Read about our "mother's against freedom" campaign, which will stop anti-social behaviour in children by banning violent video-games that are made for adults, clearly age-rated, and illegal for sale to children. Remember mothers! The fact that you launched a mewling brat from your gaping maw, gives you the right to impinge on the freedoms on other adults, because THINK OF THE CHILDREN! Also, remember that difficult social problems such as youth violence, always have simple solutions such as "ban anything I don't like"

Posh's celebrity diet! Now you can look like a minging skeletal shadow of your former self too!

20 embarassing photos of celebrities with left-legs! (having a left leg is now something to be embarrassed about ok)

or

20 embarrasing photos of celebrities with a completely natural figure, but that isn't anorexic. (this is totally different from the staff and readership of the magazine, all of whom are anorexically thin, ok)

or

20 embarassing photos of celebrities wearing something that's unfashionable (because you need someone else to tell you whether or not it's OK to wear something)

[TNF]

I absolutely hate fucking magazines like that. If I want to see nobody's doing irrelevant things then i'd look out the window. Chantelle, who the fuck is she? Just some stupid fuck who has her face plastered over all these magazines for doing nothing. Wow, she is really famous because she sat about a house for a while, while loads of idiots phone in wanting to keep these nobodys on tv. I could go on much, much more. However I really can't be bothered.

[Schmurgle]

Originally Posted by humndislocation

50 embarassing photos of celebrities with left-legs! (having a left leg is now something to be embarrassed about ok)

Oh My God, I have a left leg. I'm so unfashionable and will never be a celeb like Kerry Katona or Chantelle!!!

On occassion I'll buy Take a Break or That's Life for the sheer comedy of the true life stories. I know a lot of men who like these magazines more than women as well.

[Gemo]

Originally Posted by Schmurgle

I know a lot of men who like these magazines more than women as well.

Very true, if i have heat lying about the flat a few guys have been known to pick it up and have a read.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by Schmurgle

On occassion I'll buy Take a Break or That's Life for the sheer comedy of the true life stories. I know a lot of men who like these magazines more than women as well.

i read my mums 'pick me up' occasionally. its actually very entertaining.


i cant believe magazines still print pictures of 'celebrities' in 'embarassing' situations. watch you don't get photographed mid-blink, your career will be ruined!