Head Cleaner

CD track listing:

All The Same

Black and Blue

Punching Walls

Get Caught Reading

The Heroine

Note: A few people seem to have a problem with my review for this album, saying it is 
immature and lacking in constuctive criticism. Read my response at the bottom 

After hearing the likes of the aeris ep and *the other one* i though scotlands music scene 
was definetly on the up, but this one has sent it back to the dark ages. never before has 
the 1st track on a cd reduced me to tears and caused me to fall off my seat with laughter 
all at once. after i removed the blood from my ears, i reached for the off switch.
Oh, and when i let kj listen to it, he wet himself.... a rare occurance...well not since 
primary 5 anyway.

After a stiff drink and enough time to pluck up the courage to try again, i tentatively 
pressed play. By the time i finished the blood was pouring from every orrifice and the 
ambulance crew were grief-stricken, poor guys, they deserve a reward for what they did.

track 1 - All the same - was a mix between that dzzzzzzzz sound you get when hit in the 
back of the head with a spiked bat and having rancid feces shoved up your nose with a red 
hot poker.

track 2 - Black and blue - was a bit better, i could make out distinct notes and almost a 
chord. the lyrics seemed like they were written with suicide in mind.

track 3 - Punching Walls - almost continued the trend but failed miserably and had me 
smacking my head off the walls and my cat Flossy punching me with bitter discontent.

track 4 - Get Caught Reading - erm... well, you probably guessed. I didnt like it!! If you 
were caught reading it certainly wasn't on songwriting. Go find a hooker that will give you 
"good lovin' for five dolla" and quit pestering me with pish songs. Sorry, by this point i'd 
just had enough.

track 5 - The Heroine - Apologies for all the puns, but i have never taken drugs before, 
though i really wish i had shot up before torturing myself with this one. a bit of crack might 
have eased the pain.

Sorry guys, try again, but please don't send it to us, unless its a bit, well, erm... less pish. 

Note While we like to promote new bands, we are selective. if you are pish, you are 
pish. If you know you are shit and you still send us the stuff we will tear you apart. If 
you are pish, but do not know it yet, we will not hesitate to inform you. Death threat/fecal 
matter in jars to the usual address.

The Response: The vast majority of people who have responded seem to agree with the 
point I was trying to make. I do this site because I seek neither fame nor fortune, I just 
write what I believe to be true. When I feel the words I have written dont fully represent 
the emotion I feel when listening to a track, I will exaggerate. Nothing wrong with that, I 
just like to get my point accross and this is the best way to do it. I doubt the band 
themselves profess to being the best band in the world, they probably just do it because 
they enjoy it. Im making assumptions, but probably pretty good ones. Im not saying I dont 
like the band personally, because i have never met them. They are probably nice guys who 
enjoy what they do and good on them. The facts remain that nobody else here at US was 
prepared to review it, because we all thought it was bad. When we receive tracks to 
review, the bands and their followers must realize that this is the opinion of one person 
and dont take it too bad when we tell it like we see it. All we want is for the band to 
learn from their mistakes, whatever they are, and produce good music, but most importantly 
have fun. If you still think I'm talking pish then go out and buy it for yourself and come 
to your own conclusions. You might even like it. I didnt, but you might, some people 
are just strange, or is that different? hmm... 

Cunny.